I watched the movie, I have not read the book and i do not think I will anymore. No, not that the movie was that bad, just I do not think the book would have a whole lot more than the movie did so... why waste effort?
The movie was almost therapeutic. almost because... not quite, it falls for the very myth it sets out to bust - that most of us are the rule not the exception. Trouble is, the protagonists in the movie - some of them at least - end up being the exceptions to the rules. hmm... I guess people need happy endings or no one would watch the movie again. or read the book. Whatever. I don't believe in happy endings. I would like to. I try to. But I just know better.
Here is the premise of the movie : Most girls grow up with the notion that if a guy is behaving like a jerk, it means he likes you. And that this idea is wrong, not true. If a guy is treating you like he does not give a damn about you then, he most likely, actually, truly does not - give a damn about you.
Commendable.
It is a fact. Women do believe that men who are treating them bad are trying to hide how much we mean to them. I have heard that, countless numbers of times, being told to my friends, hell, I think I must have said that to someone too.
But really! Think about it. Aren't there guys that were genuinely nice but you some how did not care about them, and it is possible you might have been mean to them on occasion, but the fact is that it does not keep you up at nights because you really did not care much. So why should it bother any guy who was mean to you? What is so special about you?
It is very hard to accept that there are people out there (both men and women) who do not like us, not everyone can like everyone else, not the same way, and yet, bound to this inherent notion of how-great-I-am, we go to great lengths to weave twisted stories to avoid facing the fact that the person we are confronted with, is not impressed by anything we do.
That's what I liked about the movie, it talks about a very basic flaw in our psyche, this need to prove to some one who does not like us, how incredibly charming we actually are. And the inevitable failure of all such schemes. It is the classic case of being stuck in a mental asylum and trying to prove you are sane. The harder you struggle the tighter they tie you up. It is a losing battle. The smartest thing to do is to cut your losses and move on.
Yes, I am completely aware of how much easier this is said than done.
That is why I liked the movie, it is easier to laugh at someone else than yourself, and your own hopeless efforts in trying to win over the respect, admiration, and friendship of people who are determined to deny you any hint of that - be it your boss, the high school bully,or your mother-in-law. Same principle.
Come to think of it, if they gave it you, you just might not want it. Duniya jaadu ka khilona hai, mil jaaye to mitti kho jaye to sona hai.
5 comments:
I m going through such a phase and I know there is no other way out and I need to move on..
your writing are so realistic that they seems inherent part of my own thought process..
Keep writing!
Hi Gagan,
I have no idea what you are going through, and I am no one to preach, all I can say is that sometimes no matter how hard you try you find yourself stuck in a rut. You just cannot let go. No matter how many times you tell yourself how stupid it is to be holding on to this thing/ person, some people just have disproportionate amount of power on us - for some weird reasons. We just fall for their judgment, in spite of all our sanity. I would like to say that time will make it better, but no one knows how much time, some times ten days away from them can cure you and sometimes not even ten years. So, we just have to be easy on ourselves and accept the situation that, this is how I am and sometimes I let other people control me/ my thoughts, and sometimes I let weird - stupid - idiotic people control me and it is okay it is one of my flaws and I can love in spite of my flaws. types.
The other option is like Shakespeare said if you cannot be then pretend. that works - mostly. Pretend like you are over it. It is only temporary and you will find that it is very hard to deceive yourself, but... what else is there :)
Again, I have no idea what you are dealing with and most likely you did not need this lecture, but perhaps I am trying to convince myself more than you. Take care and thanks for the compliment.
the line up there should ahve been
and I can love MYSELF in spite of my flaws.
google doesn't let you edit your comments :( what's up with that?
Thanks transient for yr words...I m trying hard to love MYSELF in spite of my flaws...but at times u can't help and want somebody else to at least trust u....anyways I know that I have to get over it. May be after 10 yrs from now I will remember it and say "how stupid I was:)"
Thanks once again and keep penning down!
hahahahaha
or worse, what if you look back and say whoa I was smart back then, am an idiot now.
tch tch tch that's how I feel sometimes.
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