अभी ज्ञान कच्चा है ज्ञानी...

i am pleased to say that that post below was a dark moment and i can already see day-break। i am feeling better. if there is anything i understood this time round it is that - अभी ज्ञान कच्चा है ज्ञानी.

when i think about it, one of the most important attributes in life is balance, lately i had lost that, as i have been screaming in the last few posts. Once I had it, and then I lost it, and then I got it again and i thought i would never lose it, and then i lost it again.... and this time i thought i could never get it back and .. yet, yet it looks like i just might.

it is cyclical. i am beginning to understand the whole idea of re-birth, may be you don't actually have to die. maybe the idea of death is an analogy to explain the concept. maybe when they say you have live many lifetimes to attain that 'ultimate true knowledge', they don't mean it literally, but figuratively. Grow up, learn, fall back, question your knowledge, learn some more, lose it, work again, and so on... if that makes any sense.

There is a lot to learn and the roads ahead are slippery, one false move, and you find yourself at the bottom of the pit. I guess it is some consolation to know that eventually if you keep at it, you will get out it.

So I start again, this time with hope and humility, with the knowledge that even knowledge is transient. That the curse of karna can fall on any one, at any time, especially on those who have been expecting it. That in the moment you need it the most, it just might leave you, your knowledge, your luck, your courage. That in spite of all that you collect for yourself, one of these days, you might find yourself all alone, flapping haplessly in the winds, wondering just what you had been doing all along.