The thing that no one tells you

about growing older is that you don't actually feel older.

Inside, you are still the same. You feel old enough at twenty, and that is where you probably stay the rest of your life. Yes, here and there you feel jaded and tired and think that is what it means to be older, but not really. Your perception of how old you are, remains constant. It is the outer signs that change, people's expectations from your behaviour perhaps, that makes you think you must act a certain way to fit your particular age.

Sometimes, i still get surprised that i am 33 and have my own home and kids and i manage them all fine, all by myself. Because sometimes i cannot distinguish my 33 old self from the 20 year old me, who was a girl in her parents house and whose only concern in the world was to make sure that her mom does not catch her chatting on the phone when she was supposed to be studying.

Now, when my mom is visiting I am still scared of her catching me on the phone when i was supposed to be doing something else, or reading a book when she thinks I should be talking to her and not ignoring her. I should have better manners she says, she is a guest here. Guest! what guest? You are not a guest, you are my mom!