i was trying to put up some decorations this morning, and as i stood on this step stool, i felt queasy. which does not make a lot of sense. when i can stand on flat ground on just my two feet and not falter, why not on a wide enough step stool?
as i get higher, why do i start worrying about balance and wish to be closer to a wall, to hold on or something. i still only need that much space to stand, i know how to stand on two feet without holding anything, but just being high up in the middle of the room ... does something to my mind, it starts playing tricks on me, my muscles twitch, my heart rate goes up, i sweat more, i am all over the place. i start panicking for no good reason.
it is one of those reverse mind over matter problems. there is no physical threat, but my mind has created one, and now my body is reacting to it. if i can calm my self down, i should theoretically be able to stand on that stool for a very very long time, limited only by my stamina. but in practice i cannot, i can barely make it past a couple of minutes.
it is ridiculous. so i am standing there having a virtual argument with myself, while wondering, how do you argue with your own brain, how do you reason with the very seat of reason, would it even be a fair match?
No comments:
Post a Comment