is tan ne muk jana

bhanven roz malishan kariye

another Gurdas Mann gem, though I think it is a bit too obvious compared to some of his other wonderful works, but when you put it in front of the other garbage that is spewed off in the name of punjabi songs these days this looks like picasso.

jindagi da hissa ne jame diyan khushiyan mare da rona

or
gall sachi sachhyan diyan
dab ke vahiye raj ke khayiye
thoda khayie kharch layiye, thoda daan punn te layiye

and wow he can still dance, and I think he really is one of the most good looking punjabi singers even now. Perhaps that is what he is telling the younger generation with the other song in the same album, bai ke vekh jawaka, baabe bhangra paunde ne. Who better than him to show the younger generation how it is done.

na oh rahiyan khurakan na oh zor jawani de
dus saalan de kaake maare akh mastani de
ishqe maare fir nasheyan de teeke launde ne

and here is my favourite one, coz it reminds me of my dadi and her saying that you get angry because you are weak, and every health problem could be solved with some sarson ka tel in your head :)

baute laad ladayan nu ajj susti maar gayi
cheti lad painde ne baba khushki maar gayi
tel saron da mushq maarda gellan launde ne

lakh pardesi hoyiye

apna des nai bhandida
jhede mulk da khayiye usda bura nai mangida

It is one of those Gurdas Mann songs that you really must listen to each word of, it is very well written and very much steeped in that punjabi folk wisdom that people give you all the time and you hardly listen to them and then years go by and no one says those things to you anymore and you miss them.

maade bande vich vi koi gun changa hovega
jun hunda gunkari badbu lassan di gandi da

niyat bina na kade muradan miliyan milan giyan
jhina marzi paath kara lo ghar vich chandi da

marjaane da maan dhan sab tere hath vich hai
parda kaj layin sainyan meri changi mandi da

tumhe dillagi bhool jaani padegi

mohabbat ki raahon me aa kar to dekho
tadapne pe mere na phir tum hasoge
kabhi dil kisi se laga kar to dekho

This is from a time long long ago when I was young and stupid. I am no longer young. Stupid, is debatable.

The year was 95 or 96, and this very good friend of mine was upset about.... well the stuff young people are supposed to be upset about, only, I personally - on account of the above mentioned stupidity - did not much sympathize with his situation and he must have been in a very foul mood because he said with not so much anger as certainty- one of these days you are going to fall in love and that is when you will not find this so funny.

Umm.. back then, I must confess, I actually laughed at him, which in hindsight was a very bad thing to do. You should not laugh at your friends whether you understand them or not. It was just plain wrong. But he was a gem of a person, a real heart of gold to shayad isliye uske shraap ne zindagi me mera zyada nuksaan kiya nahi. But every time I listen to this song I remember that episode and I wish I was more sympathetic, I wish I had not found his predicament that funny, and the trouble is that even if I do meet him in person, which I haven't since we graduated and I have no idea where he is, but even if I did, it is the kind of thing that you cannot really apologize for after this long a time. It is one of those really awkward moments to bring up and might actually be a worse offense than the first one all those years back, so this here, a pubic apology out into the universe is the best that I can do now.

The year is 2009 and it took me twelve years but I do think that I understand what it is to feel that strongly about someone. I think I have a whole new appreciation for love and it is not a teenager's idea of love either, but I have come to understand that even that teenage puppy love must be treated with due respect. What you feel is what you feel and if you deny or belittle your own feelings, then you deny and belittle your own self, in order to deal with something you must first acknowledge its existence, so if i could go back in time, I would actually sit down and listen to his side of the story. Not that it is a big regret in life or something, I understand that I did not understand it back then, and I was acting from a place of ignorance, but in my own paradigm I was being honest and that perhaps is the only redemption.

And that is the other aspect of the song that I admire, that you only understand something when you do. It is like, let's say you have no idea what a square root is, and you see a set of statements like this

2x^2 = 8
x^2 = 4
x = +/- 2

So you say the first step is fine you divided by 2 but what about the next. Remember you don't know the concept of a squareroot. It will bother you, you might even be sure that this is a mistake, and the thing is, it should, because you don't know, if you pretend to be smarter than you are and say ok something happens here, well you are not being completely honest are you?

I suppose that is how it is meant to be. You hold strong opinions, and insist you know what is right and wrong, you go through life judging others and holding yourself in high esteem and then life shows you the other aspect, their side of the story, and you realize how much in error you have been, how wrong your in judgments and worse, how foolish, hasty, and naive in your criticisms. That perhaps is the growing process. Learning, is painful and humbling.

radha na bole na bole na bole re

I love this song, if I could dance, as in the future when I learn to dance I would love to dance to this song. Waiting :D

shyam teri bansi

pukaare radha naam
log karen meera ko yu hi badnaam

I love this song, I love hearing it not so much watching it, it is a sad sad sad song, the saddest part being when he says radha ka bhi shyam vo to meera ka bhi shaym...

really? aisa ho sakta hai kya?

aur usse bhi zyada dukh mujhe rukmini devi ke baare me soch kar hota hai. kya kismet hai na, kisi ko mil kar bhi na mile aur kisi ko na mil kar bhi mil jaye.

I need to do something

Here is the thing, I got these stories in my head, and I should write them. But, I am not... and I don't know why?

arghhh!

here, i am putting down the names so that I have some motivation to do it. I don't know what else to do to spur myself on. i even went and bought one of those stupid games how to lose the writer's block from Barnes and Noble. That was one wasted thirty dollars, I can tell you that much.

they are in two groups, ones that i completely understand and buy the premise of and those that are dicey in my head.

A:

1. The curse of Karna (99.9 % done)
2. You are crazy
3. A matter of Principle
4. Not so stupid
5. The No God (but it needs tonnes of research! so.... )

B:

1. The rogue data point (for the heck of me i cannot decide what she should do at that moment on the subway, that is when the story bifurcates, the universe splits, and I don't know which thread to follow!! My heart wants one thing my head another, ik moh kheenche baiyan, ik laaj roke paiyan... grr... I think this is the one i think about the most... and i wake up with a different decision every morning.)

2. Dripping Diamonds ( I am even dicey on the name)

3. In her own image (My favorite in terms of this being probably the only one that has this ideological love story that I hopelessly carry around in my head, but it overlaps with the no. 6 one so... I have to make up my mind some day. hopefully sooner rather than later)

4. The stranger on the train ( I like it, I think it should be in group A but since I was thinking about it, I put it in group B)

5. The reunion (hmm.. okay this is a happy happy one, and I don't know how well I can pull that off, so... besides I have no idea what the bleeding premise is? Just being happy happy happy is no premise. Is it?)

6. And then there is that (but I think this one is very similar to the in her own image one, i might end up combining the two)

He's just not that into you.

I watched the movie, I have not read the book and i do not think I will anymore. No, not that the movie was that bad, just I do not think the book would have a whole lot more than the movie did so... why waste effort?

The movie was almost therapeutic. almost because... not quite, it falls for the very myth it sets out to bust - that most of us are the rule not the exception. Trouble is, the protagonists in the movie - some of them at least - end up being the exceptions to the rules. hmm... I guess people need happy endings or no one would watch the movie again. or read the book. Whatever. I don't believe in happy endings. I would like to. I try to. But I just know better.

Here is the premise of the movie : Most girls grow up with the notion that if a guy is behaving like a jerk, it means he likes you. And that this idea is wrong, not true. If a guy is treating you like he does not give a damn about you then, he most likely, actually, truly does not - give a damn about you.

Commendable.

It is a fact. Women do believe that men who are treating them bad are trying to hide how much we mean to them. I have heard that, countless numbers of times, being told to my friends, hell, I think I must have said that to someone too.

But really! Think about it. Aren't there guys that were genuinely nice but you some how did not care about them, and it is possible you might have been mean to them on occasion, but the fact is that it does not keep you up at nights because you really did not care much. So why should it bother any guy who was mean to you? What is so special about you?

It is very hard to accept that there are people out there (both men and women) who do not like us, not everyone can like everyone else, not the same way, and yet, bound to this inherent notion of how-great-I-am, we go to great lengths to weave twisted stories to avoid facing the fact that the person we are confronted with, is not impressed by anything we do.

That's what I liked about the movie, it talks about a very basic flaw in our psyche, this need to prove to some one who does not like us, how incredibly charming we actually are. And the inevitable failure of all such schemes. It is the classic case of being stuck in a mental asylum and trying to prove you are sane. The harder you struggle the tighter they tie you up. It is a losing battle. The smartest thing to do is to cut your losses and move on.

Yes, I am completely aware of how much easier this is said than done.

That is why I liked the movie, it is easier to laugh at someone else than yourself, and your own hopeless efforts in trying to win over the respect, admiration, and friendship of people who are determined to deny you any hint of that - be it your boss, the high school bully,or your mother-in-law. Same principle.

Come to think of it, if they gave it you, you just might not want it. Duniya jaadu ka khilona hai, mil jaaye to mitti kho jaye to sona hai.

ode to my mediocrity

मैं जिस जगह पर हूँ
उसे शिखर की ऊँचाई नही कहते
मैं जिस थल पर हूँ
उसे पतन की गहराई नही कहते
मैं वो हूँ जिसे आफ़ताब नही कहते
तो क्या
कि मैं वो हूँ जिसे आज़ाब नही कहते