Here is one of Meer's poems that i absolutely adore. Unfortunately where there is so much about Ghalib on the net there is not that much about meer. I mean I am grateful to Dr. Pritchett from Columbia for doing such a great job with Ghalib's poetry, just hoping he gets around to taking care of Meer too some day. Maybe my horrible translation below will get him irritated and force to act.
हम आप ही को अपना मक़सूद जानते हैं I consider myself my goal
अपने सिवाय किसको मौजूद जानते हैं for who beside me, do i count as present
इज्ज़-ओ-नियाज़ अपना, अपनी तरफ है सारा All my charm and civility is directed towards me
इस मुश्त-ऐ-ख़ाक को हम मस्जूद जानते हैं This handful of dirt, I consider worth bowing down to
अपनी ही सैर करने को हम जलवागर हुए हैं To tour ourselves we have materialized here
इस रम्ज़ को वलेकिन मादूद जानते हैं This secret is known to but a few
मर कर भी हाथ आवे तो मीर मुफ्त है वो If I were to find him only in death, it would still be free
जी के जियान को भी हम सूद जानते हैं Even the loss of life, would be mere interest. argh! i don't know, its hard to translate, which begs the question why i am doing it, but...
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Indian Style Veggie Lasagna
This is a multi step process at the least for me, if there is an easier way to get the same results then I don't know how, and would love to find out. unfortunately, this works every single time and lately i do not find myself adventurous enough to try out new methods, so I stick to the one that works.
Important: These steps are not in chronological order, I am just stating them here, you decide what makes more sense for you to do when, you will just need all these things ready when you start assembling your lasagna. usually I will start them all together so that they are done together too.
Step 1:
Boil the lasagna sheets and keep aside.
Step 2:
Grill the vegetables : Zucchini, Red, Green, Orange Bell peppers,
onions if you like, and pretty much anything else you want. Dice them and keep aside.
Step 3: Grate or cut lots of fresh Mozzarella Cheese. The pics here will show cut rounds but I think i was just being lazy, grate it :)
Step 4: The tomato sauce:
Assembly:
Important: These steps are not in chronological order, I am just stating them here, you decide what makes more sense for you to do when, you will just need all these things ready when you start assembling your lasagna. usually I will start them all together so that they are done together too.
Step 1:
Boil the lasagna sheets and keep aside.
Step 2:
Grill the vegetables : Zucchini, Red, Green, Orange Bell peppers,
onions if you like, and pretty much anything else you want. Dice them and keep aside.
Step 3: Grate or cut lots of fresh Mozzarella Cheese. The pics here will show cut rounds but I think i was just being lazy, grate it :)
Step 4: The tomato sauce:
Heat oil, add Cumin, whole black peppercorns, cinnamon, bay leaf, grated ginger and fry for a bit.- Add diced red onions and cook till translucent.
- Add lots of diced tomatoes and cook till the oil separates.
- Now add your favourite Indian masala(s) I like to use my ready made Shahi paneer masala, along with some garam masala, kasuri methi, deghi mirchi powder, coriander powder, salt etc and cook a little more.
- Add enough milk and cook to make a smooth consistency for the sauce. Keep aside
- Heat some oil in a pan, add cumin, ginger, garlic and saute for a couple of minutes.
- I now use this alu masala that I get from Delhi but in lieu of that you could use some turmeric, coriander powder, red pepper powder, garam masala, black sesame seeds, saunf etc.
- Immediately add washed and cut spinach, you don't want the masalas to burn too much.
- Now add a whole tub of good ricotta cheese to the mixture and keep aside.
Assembly:
- Put some tomato sauce at the bottom of your oven proof dish.
- Add a layer of the boiled lasagna sheets
- A layer of your tomato sauce
- A layer of the diced grilled veggies
- A layer of fresh mozzarella cheese - the kind with high
- humidity levels.
- Another layer of the boiled lasagna sheets
- A layer of the spinach ricotta mixture
- Another layer of lasagna sheets and the tomato sauce.
- A final layer of regular mozzarella cheese (grated is better than cut up) and some butter pieces.
- Bake till the cheese melts, or a little longer, but since all the individual components are already cooked you do not have to worry about the baking part too much, unless you made the whole thing up earlier, kept it in the fridge and are now getting it ready to serve, in which case bake till it is heated through.
- Garnish with fresh cilantro leaves and serve hot I guess. Gosh that is such a cliche to write. argh! Besides I need to learn how to take better pictures of food. I guess there is a reason why they show it in those amazing containers and paraphernalia in the books. hmm... next project.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
What is the purpose of life? - part 2.
This is in response to the earlier post. About what follows next, as you read it, don't take offense to it. I am merely stating a position, I am not trying to be smart.
Back to the question: What is the purpose of Life? Here is the trouble with the question.
It is the wrong question to ask.
It automatically assumes that there is a purpose, and sends you on an entirely unnecessary wild goose chase. You would be much better off asking the question : Is there a purpose to life?
At which point I would ask you two things, a) define life, b) define purpose. Let me share my definitions.
Life as is generally accepted, is the sum total of all processes that distinguish the inanimate from the animate, the living from the dead, including but not limited to, an ability to reproduce, to metabolize food and make energy to do work, to adapt to the environment, and so on.
I agree that this is an over simplified definition of life and perhaps many biologists will not be too happy about it, but for the purposes of our discussion I am assuming that this will work and you will accept it, and will not insist on bogging me down with stuff like; is a mountain living? It is changing all the time, eroding, responding to its environment. Is an interstellar nebula living? It is taking material from its surroundings and going to give birth to a star now. umm... I don't know. Go ask the biologists. But I think even they don't know. So lets just stick to the commonsense view of life as the difference between me and the chair I am sitting on right now. I am alive and the chair is not. Okay?
Moving on. Purpose. To me purpose is the end goal in mind for which something is done, or created, or used etc.
For example a knife serves the purpose of cutting up something, depending on what the manufacturer wanted it to cut; a tomato knife, a bread knife, or the three thousand other types of knives they would like you to believe you need. You would assume that at some point in the manufacturing process, someone sat down and decided what the purpose of a particular knife would / should be, and then figured out the attributes it would need in order to better fulfill that said purpose - serrated or plain, small or big, fixed or a folding blade? Once all the details have been mapped in theory, someone goes about the actual process of taking the right kind of metal and forging the desired blade and attaches it to an appropriate handle and the knife is ready.
Not that the police knocks your door down if you cut a tomato with the bread knife. But they will, if you butcher someone with a combat knife and it won't help telling them that that was the purpose of the bloody knife, it was made to be a weapon. You as an intelligent 'living' thing can decide what you will use something for. You can take any sharp edged object and use it to cut something, if it does a good job then that can be its new purpose irrespective of whatever else it is supposed to be doing.
The above discussion yields two conclusions. a) in order for something to have a purpose it must have been created or used with a particular intention and the two do not have to coincide - the intention can change between the making and the using, and b) there has to be someone who is making the intention. A sharp stone in the wilderness will just lie there. It does not acquire the purpose of being a knife (a cutting tool) until someone picks it up and uses it to that end.
Now in order for you to think that all life has a purpose, you must believe that life was created with an end goal in mind, which will take you to believe there must be a creator, an intelligent being with not just the intent but also the ability to bring forth a certain kind of live being and make him/her do a particular task.
As much as the religions around the world would like you to believe that that is the case, come to think of it, there is no rational proof for the existence of such a being. Fact is, there is not much proof about any theory of the beginning of life. To the best of my knowledge all science can claim so far is that life originated on earth around 3.8 billion years ago. How? We have no real idea. We do not know for sure exactly what the conditions on earth were that long back, the stimuli, the starting materials, the phenomena that might have lead to spontaneous generation of 'life'. None of the experiments we have dreamt of so far have succeeded in reproducing life from scratch. In such murky waters I can understand the charm of the 'G'- word. The only trouble is that if you are going to start giving in to your imagination, its hard to stop. One delusion is as good as another, and then you can make up just about any purpose for life that suits you. That is exactly what the clergy has been doing for centuries.
Personally, I would much rather admit that we do not know exactly how life originated on earth. It is an unsolved problem, we are working on it, but just because we do not know for a fact how something is being done, does not mean we will accept any crackpot theory / claims of how it was done.
Now the thing is, if you cannot answer the how, how can you answer the why? How can we claim to know the ultimate purpose, goal, task of such life?
My take is this: Fine I do not know how life began on earth, but since there is no particular reason to buy the intelligent design theory, I do not. When I look at the world around me I find it probable and not causal. From the quantum to the cosmic levels, there is a probability of an event occurring, not a certainty. I do not think that life was put here for a purpose. Life just is. It exists. That is the long and the short of it. There is nothing grand about it. No plan, no goal, no thought behind it. There is no intended purpose. Not in the traditional sense. Not to the best of my knowledge.
However it came to be, life has been evolving to survive a hostile environment forever trying to snuff it out. So if you insist on giving it a purpose then that is what it is - survival. Life strives to exist. The deer must learn to run faster than the fastest lion, and the lion must learn to run faster than the slowest deer. Trees, birds, insects, human beings must live long enough to pass their genes on, so the species can survive. What the species does with that survival is a different matter, as long as it lives; that is important.
And I guess that is where all that mumbo jumbo about being good, and helpful, and altruistic as the purpose of life comes from. You must live, that is the most important thing. However, while doing that, if you can help other members of your species live longer, become stronger, pass on more genes for natural selection to look at, more power to you. On the other hand if some cunning people can frighten or guilt you into doing more and more for the species, and giving up on, and sacrificing the heart of that which makes you you, then more power to them and really shame on you.
You did not ask to be here, you have no control on how long you stay, and how / when you leave. No one gave you an instruction manual when you got here, the rules of this game are not written anywhere. It is entirely up to you whether you choose to play along or not, and they are both equally acceptable responses. If it makes you while away your time here better, go ahead, pick a project, label that your purpose in life and spend the rest of your time doing it. To me it really does not matter. There is no purpose and I have made my peace with that.
No, it was not an easy peace to make. It gnawed at me for a long time. Why bother living in a purposeless universe? That used to be the first question I asked myself every time I concluded there was no purpose to life. It is another one of those things that I have made my peace with, let me try to explain my reasons without digressing too much.
You have two choices, you can choose to live or you can choose to die, there is no third option. I mean there are those people who choose to live and keep thinking about dying, but that is a very inefficient way of doing business if you ask me, unless of course you are still trying to decide which side you want to be. Just be sure to not get too comfortable sitting on the fence, you will have a very sore behind.
I must admit that for a while there, I very seriously considered the 'choose to die' option, but it did not add up in the end, because I figured there really was no reason to work so hard to reach an inevitability. You are going to die. Eventually, one day, some how, some time, some where. Its going to happen with or without your help. (It is like those game shows where you get to pick door 1 or door 2, only in this case door 2 is yours for sure, and the only question is weather or not you take 1 also.) Then it only makes sense to pick the 'choose to live' option, coz that way you get them both. you choose to live and then one fine day you die. Win - win, isn't it? Unless of course the door 1 ends up being a completely horrible place and then you are well within your rights to want to walk out. It is totally your decision, no one else -religion, law, society- should have any say in it.
Once you have decided to live in spite of the purposelessness of the world you live in, the next question is what do you do with this life. Now, at this stage of my life, my goal is to only do things that fall in these two categories a) things I want to do and b) things that allow me to do the things I want to do. Anything else just does not make sense. There is the third category, honoring prior commitments that I have already made as my younger more foolish self. But I guess that also falls in category a) because that is what I want to do - keep my promises, coz the day I decide to break them, there is really nothing anyone can do to stop me.
So that is how I want to live my life now. Yes, there are times when I lose my head and let other people guilt me into doing things that they want me to do, to the extent when for a while I actually start believing that that is what I should be doing too. But as I grow older the shackles seem to be coming apart. Even when I fall for it, I begin to see the fallacy sooner and can bring myself to rise out it. I have come to learn to be patient with myself, that logic is a slippery slope, and hence to forgive myself for my lapses in judgement and errors and for all the times I let other people make up my mind. I figure as long as I choose to live, I might as well do it myself. That is all I want from my life anymore.
And now I do not know how far I have digressed from the topic and if I have made anysense at all.
Back to the question: What is the purpose of Life? Here is the trouble with the question.
It is the wrong question to ask.
It automatically assumes that there is a purpose, and sends you on an entirely unnecessary wild goose chase. You would be much better off asking the question : Is there a purpose to life?
At which point I would ask you two things, a) define life, b) define purpose. Let me share my definitions.
Life as is generally accepted, is the sum total of all processes that distinguish the inanimate from the animate, the living from the dead, including but not limited to, an ability to reproduce, to metabolize food and make energy to do work, to adapt to the environment, and so on.
I agree that this is an over simplified definition of life and perhaps many biologists will not be too happy about it, but for the purposes of our discussion I am assuming that this will work and you will accept it, and will not insist on bogging me down with stuff like; is a mountain living? It is changing all the time, eroding, responding to its environment. Is an interstellar nebula living? It is taking material from its surroundings and going to give birth to a star now. umm... I don't know. Go ask the biologists. But I think even they don't know. So lets just stick to the commonsense view of life as the difference between me and the chair I am sitting on right now. I am alive and the chair is not. Okay?
Moving on. Purpose. To me purpose is the end goal in mind for which something is done, or created, or used etc.
For example a knife serves the purpose of cutting up something, depending on what the manufacturer wanted it to cut; a tomato knife, a bread knife, or the three thousand other types of knives they would like you to believe you need. You would assume that at some point in the manufacturing process, someone sat down and decided what the purpose of a particular knife would / should be, and then figured out the attributes it would need in order to better fulfill that said purpose - serrated or plain, small or big, fixed or a folding blade? Once all the details have been mapped in theory, someone goes about the actual process of taking the right kind of metal and forging the desired blade and attaches it to an appropriate handle and the knife is ready.
Not that the police knocks your door down if you cut a tomato with the bread knife. But they will, if you butcher someone with a combat knife and it won't help telling them that that was the purpose of the bloody knife, it was made to be a weapon. You as an intelligent 'living' thing can decide what you will use something for. You can take any sharp edged object and use it to cut something, if it does a good job then that can be its new purpose irrespective of whatever else it is supposed to be doing.
The above discussion yields two conclusions. a) in order for something to have a purpose it must have been created or used with a particular intention and the two do not have to coincide - the intention can change between the making and the using, and b) there has to be someone who is making the intention. A sharp stone in the wilderness will just lie there. It does not acquire the purpose of being a knife (a cutting tool) until someone picks it up and uses it to that end.
Now in order for you to think that all life has a purpose, you must believe that life was created with an end goal in mind, which will take you to believe there must be a creator, an intelligent being with not just the intent but also the ability to bring forth a certain kind of live being and make him/her do a particular task.
As much as the religions around the world would like you to believe that that is the case, come to think of it, there is no rational proof for the existence of such a being. Fact is, there is not much proof about any theory of the beginning of life. To the best of my knowledge all science can claim so far is that life originated on earth around 3.8 billion years ago. How? We have no real idea. We do not know for sure exactly what the conditions on earth were that long back, the stimuli, the starting materials, the phenomena that might have lead to spontaneous generation of 'life'. None of the experiments we have dreamt of so far have succeeded in reproducing life from scratch. In such murky waters I can understand the charm of the 'G'- word. The only trouble is that if you are going to start giving in to your imagination, its hard to stop. One delusion is as good as another, and then you can make up just about any purpose for life that suits you. That is exactly what the clergy has been doing for centuries.
Personally, I would much rather admit that we do not know exactly how life originated on earth. It is an unsolved problem, we are working on it, but just because we do not know for a fact how something is being done, does not mean we will accept any crackpot theory / claims of how it was done.
Now the thing is, if you cannot answer the how, how can you answer the why? How can we claim to know the ultimate purpose, goal, task of such life?
My take is this: Fine I do not know how life began on earth, but since there is no particular reason to buy the intelligent design theory, I do not. When I look at the world around me I find it probable and not causal. From the quantum to the cosmic levels, there is a probability of an event occurring, not a certainty. I do not think that life was put here for a purpose. Life just is. It exists. That is the long and the short of it. There is nothing grand about it. No plan, no goal, no thought behind it. There is no intended purpose. Not in the traditional sense. Not to the best of my knowledge.
However it came to be, life has been evolving to survive a hostile environment forever trying to snuff it out. So if you insist on giving it a purpose then that is what it is - survival. Life strives to exist. The deer must learn to run faster than the fastest lion, and the lion must learn to run faster than the slowest deer. Trees, birds, insects, human beings must live long enough to pass their genes on, so the species can survive. What the species does with that survival is a different matter, as long as it lives; that is important.
And I guess that is where all that mumbo jumbo about being good, and helpful, and altruistic as the purpose of life comes from. You must live, that is the most important thing. However, while doing that, if you can help other members of your species live longer, become stronger, pass on more genes for natural selection to look at, more power to you. On the other hand if some cunning people can frighten or guilt you into doing more and more for the species, and giving up on, and sacrificing the heart of that which makes you you, then more power to them and really shame on you.
You did not ask to be here, you have no control on how long you stay, and how / when you leave. No one gave you an instruction manual when you got here, the rules of this game are not written anywhere. It is entirely up to you whether you choose to play along or not, and they are both equally acceptable responses. If it makes you while away your time here better, go ahead, pick a project, label that your purpose in life and spend the rest of your time doing it. To me it really does not matter. There is no purpose and I have made my peace with that.
No, it was not an easy peace to make. It gnawed at me for a long time. Why bother living in a purposeless universe? That used to be the first question I asked myself every time I concluded there was no purpose to life. It is another one of those things that I have made my peace with, let me try to explain my reasons without digressing too much.
You have two choices, you can choose to live or you can choose to die, there is no third option. I mean there are those people who choose to live and keep thinking about dying, but that is a very inefficient way of doing business if you ask me, unless of course you are still trying to decide which side you want to be. Just be sure to not get too comfortable sitting on the fence, you will have a very sore behind.
I must admit that for a while there, I very seriously considered the 'choose to die' option, but it did not add up in the end, because I figured there really was no reason to work so hard to reach an inevitability. You are going to die. Eventually, one day, some how, some time, some where. Its going to happen with or without your help. (It is like those game shows where you get to pick door 1 or door 2, only in this case door 2 is yours for sure, and the only question is weather or not you take 1 also.) Then it only makes sense to pick the 'choose to live' option, coz that way you get them both. you choose to live and then one fine day you die. Win - win, isn't it? Unless of course the door 1 ends up being a completely horrible place and then you are well within your rights to want to walk out. It is totally your decision, no one else -religion, law, society- should have any say in it.
Once you have decided to live in spite of the purposelessness of the world you live in, the next question is what do you do with this life. Now, at this stage of my life, my goal is to only do things that fall in these two categories a) things I want to do and b) things that allow me to do the things I want to do. Anything else just does not make sense. There is the third category, honoring prior commitments that I have already made as my younger more foolish self. But I guess that also falls in category a) because that is what I want to do - keep my promises, coz the day I decide to break them, there is really nothing anyone can do to stop me.
So that is how I want to live my life now. Yes, there are times when I lose my head and let other people guilt me into doing things that they want me to do, to the extent when for a while I actually start believing that that is what I should be doing too. But as I grow older the shackles seem to be coming apart. Even when I fall for it, I begin to see the fallacy sooner and can bring myself to rise out it. I have come to learn to be patient with myself, that logic is a slippery slope, and hence to forgive myself for my lapses in judgement and errors and for all the times I let other people make up my mind. I figure as long as I choose to live, I might as well do it myself. That is all I want from my life anymore.
And now I do not know how far I have digressed from the topic and if I have made anysense at all.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
What is the purpose of life?
I have had that discussion with a variety of people over the years. Way back in high school, in grad school, and now in playgrounds watching over our kids. Frankly, I am sometimes tired of the discussion. No, it is not the discussion per say or idea itself that tires me, it is an interesting enough question and yes, I know the answer to it, it is a problem I dealt with with when I was younger, I have solved it and as far as I am concerned I do have the right answer. I doubt there is much that anyone can say now that can radically alter my world view. I am not denying that there is a possibility of something like that happening, just saying that it is a very remote one at best.
All the same, it does not irritate me one bit when someone asks that question. May be they were too busy doing other stuff when they were younger and are only now getting around to dealing with the big stuff or perhaps they just are just curious to hear what I have to say or more likely they want to impress me with their own personal brand of zen wisdom or whatever else their excuse is it does not bother me in the slightest. Remember I am the kind of person who can watch the same movie twenty times and still laugh or cry.
So why do I get tired of the discussion sometimes you ask? Good question. What tires me is when someone does not understand their own question.
What is the purpose of life? Life in general or your own life in particular? What are you asking? With all due respect, I am not interested in figuring out what your life purpose is, if one exists that is. It is none of my business, it is your purpose, you figure it out and you don't need to tell me. Do not disguise your personal existential angst in to a grand philosophical inquiry. If that is what you want to talk about, say that. Say 'hey I am so confused, I don't know what I am supposed to do in life. I am fed up with my life, it is rotten and shitty and I hate everything that is around me.' Say that and as your friend I will listen to you, i will try my best to comfort you, to show you the silver lining (even if none exists), I will do my best to make all the right noises. No, I will not be able to answer you because like I said it is your purpose and only you can determine what it is, but I will be there with you while you struggle.
However, when you ask me the grand purpose of life in general question, then please in the name of all that is good and holy do not muddy it up by bringing your own emotions in to the argument.
And no do not even try to bring up the lame excuse of how you figured it out when you were younger and now things have changed. Nothing has changed in the last thirty years of your being here. More than likely you were on the wrong track, and hence by definition, had never really figured it out. If you had the right answer back then, then trust me it has not changed.
Life has existed on this planet for waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay long before you ever showed up. The purpose of life (all life, not just yours) has nothing to do with you. It has not changed in the last 3.8 billion years with the first appearance of life on earth. To actually, truly answer that question you have to get off your high horse, and stop being so emotional about it. That's all I ask.
If you are going to ask a question, understand what you are asking first. Is this an emotional or an intellectual query? That is the question I ask someone when they bring this or any topic to me. Tell me how you want me to respond, and I will comply.
So, coming back to what tires me, is when people on the outset vehemently profess how they merely want to have a logical intellectual discussion and then in the end when the arguments start falling apart they begin resorting to 'Oh but I feel like there has to be a plan.' Or 'I feel like there is a god so there must be one.' 'It is intuitive.'
That is the time when I FEEL like swearing.
You loon!! Your trivial, puny, insignificant , unstable, irrational 'feelings' have nothing to do with anything. They have no bearing on the case. The universe does not care. The universe has got bigger fish to fry. No seriously, with all due respect, and at the risk of repeating myself, get off your high horse, and come walk with the rest of us.
And if you still want to feel then fine just let me in on the secret from the beginning so I can turn my feeling gene on too and stop looking for rationality. Don't make me sweat this out. Don't fool me into 'thinking' when you yourself have no intention of doing so. Is that really too much to ask?
All the same, it does not irritate me one bit when someone asks that question. May be they were too busy doing other stuff when they were younger and are only now getting around to dealing with the big stuff or perhaps they just are just curious to hear what I have to say or more likely they want to impress me with their own personal brand of zen wisdom or whatever else their excuse is it does not bother me in the slightest. Remember I am the kind of person who can watch the same movie twenty times and still laugh or cry.
So why do I get tired of the discussion sometimes you ask? Good question. What tires me is when someone does not understand their own question.
What is the purpose of life? Life in general or your own life in particular? What are you asking? With all due respect, I am not interested in figuring out what your life purpose is, if one exists that is. It is none of my business, it is your purpose, you figure it out and you don't need to tell me. Do not disguise your personal existential angst in to a grand philosophical inquiry. If that is what you want to talk about, say that. Say 'hey I am so confused, I don't know what I am supposed to do in life. I am fed up with my life, it is rotten and shitty and I hate everything that is around me.' Say that and as your friend I will listen to you, i will try my best to comfort you, to show you the silver lining (even if none exists), I will do my best to make all the right noises. No, I will not be able to answer you because like I said it is your purpose and only you can determine what it is, but I will be there with you while you struggle.
However, when you ask me the grand purpose of life in general question, then please in the name of all that is good and holy do not muddy it up by bringing your own emotions in to the argument.
And no do not even try to bring up the lame excuse of how you figured it out when you were younger and now things have changed. Nothing has changed in the last thirty years of your being here. More than likely you were on the wrong track, and hence by definition, had never really figured it out. If you had the right answer back then, then trust me it has not changed.
Life has existed on this planet for waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay long before you ever showed up. The purpose of life (all life, not just yours) has nothing to do with you. It has not changed in the last 3.8 billion years with the first appearance of life on earth. To actually, truly answer that question you have to get off your high horse, and stop being so emotional about it. That's all I ask.
If you are going to ask a question, understand what you are asking first. Is this an emotional or an intellectual query? That is the question I ask someone when they bring this or any topic to me. Tell me how you want me to respond, and I will comply.
So, coming back to what tires me, is when people on the outset vehemently profess how they merely want to have a logical intellectual discussion and then in the end when the arguments start falling apart they begin resorting to 'Oh but I feel like there has to be a plan.' Or 'I feel like there is a god so there must be one.' 'It is intuitive.'
That is the time when I FEEL like swearing.
You loon!! Your trivial, puny, insignificant , unstable, irrational 'feelings' have nothing to do with anything. They have no bearing on the case. The universe does not care. The universe has got bigger fish to fry. No seriously, with all due respect, and at the risk of repeating myself, get off your high horse, and come walk with the rest of us.
And if you still want to feel then fine just let me in on the secret from the beginning so I can turn my feeling gene on too and stop looking for rationality. Don't make me sweat this out. Don't fool me into 'thinking' when you yourself have no intention of doing so. Is that really too much to ask?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
pyar hua hai jab se
mujko nahi chain aata
I love that line chup ke nazar se bhi tu dil se nahi jaata
it is one of those classic example of songs that sound so young and fresh when you listen to them and then you see the video and it just spoils everything for you. Or maybe that is just me.
I love that line chup ke nazar se bhi tu dil se nahi jaata
it is one of those classic example of songs that sound so young and fresh when you listen to them and then you see the video and it just spoils everything for you. Or maybe that is just me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai
I never liked this song earlier, I kinda thought it was one of those cheapo wedding songs you hear blaring at full volume, off key, वो जब गली में नीचे बारात निकलती थी types. Somehow this song got on my ipod and I think in the last few months I actually listened to the song, the lyrics, and Mohd. Rafi's flawless voice in it for the first time and I surprizingly like it . It's happy and cheerful and he maintains the mood inspite of some... well, not so inpiring lyrics. No, no, i am not saying the lyrics are bad, in fact parts of it are pretty good too... ख़ुशी के सपनो से सोलह सिंगार कि शादी है or even better एक चमन से देखो आज बहार कि शादी है... see that one I find sort of hmm... dreamy types... I think I just love mohd Rafi singing, he makes simple words sound philosophic ... अमीर से होतीं हैं, ग़रीब से होतीं हैं, दूर से होतीं हैं, करीब से होतीं है, मगर जहाँ भी होतीं हैं, ऐ मेरे दोस्त, शादियाँ तो नसीब से होतीं हैं.... आज मेरे यार कि...
I don't know its probably just the nostalgia of missing those barats in the gali. यहाँ तो गली में से किसी बारात नही निकलती न, हमारे मोह्हल्ले में किसी कि शादी नही हों रही और अगर होगी भी तो हमें इत्तला नही दी जाएगी... वो ज़माने गए.
I don't know its probably just the nostalgia of missing those barats in the gali. यहाँ तो गली में से किसी बारात नही निकलती न, हमारे मोह्हल्ले में किसी कि शादी नही हों रही और अगर होगी भी तो हमें इत्तला नही दी जाएगी... वो ज़माने गए.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The no name number ...
Here is what I do when I am in a pinch and I need a clean purse : I take all the garbage (read papers), throw them in a big zip lock bag, and label them as 'Purse contents such and such date' and then, well stash it somewhere and keep meaning to go through it on some date in the near future - I might as well come clean and admit that it never happens to be near! But it gives me great peace of mind knowing that nothing is lost. If I really need something, I can go through my zip log baggies.
Today, I cleaned three such bags and in one of them, I found this slip of paper with a phone number and no name next to it. That slip has been bothering me since then. No its not that big a deal, its some no. from somewhere, god knows whose it is, throw it, be done with the damned piece of paper. Fine, I did exactly that, the problem is the thought behind it.
Why would someone write a phone no. with no name next to it? What was I thinking at the time I did that? I am obviously smarter than that. Did I think it was so important there was no way I could forget whose number it was? Right! that was a good theory. Was it someone so unimportant I did not want to keep their no.? Then why bother taking it down in the first place. Any half brained dimwit would know to write the whole information, but apparently not me.
And then, to top it off, I am thinking I am going senile, coz I am worrying about the stupid piece of paper.
Argh!!
Today, I cleaned three such bags and in one of them, I found this slip of paper with a phone number and no name next to it. That slip has been bothering me since then. No its not that big a deal, its some no. from somewhere, god knows whose it is, throw it, be done with the damned piece of paper. Fine, I did exactly that, the problem is the thought behind it.
Why would someone write a phone no. with no name next to it? What was I thinking at the time I did that? I am obviously smarter than that. Did I think it was so important there was no way I could forget whose number it was? Right! that was a good theory. Was it someone so unimportant I did not want to keep their no.? Then why bother taking it down in the first place. Any half brained dimwit would know to write the whole information, but apparently not me.
And then, to top it off, I am thinking I am going senile, coz I am worrying about the stupid piece of paper.
Argh!!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
mujhse milo jab tum sapno me
This is a poem from that nineteen ninety eight frame of mind, or ninety nine or something, I cannot remember from when exactly, but whatever... you gotta read it in that frame of mind too...
मुझसे मिलो जब तुम सपनो में
क्यों जागूँ मैं फिर सुबहों में
जब झूठ लगे कोई सच से बेहतर
पाँव चलें कुछ रुक पैरों पर
जले साँस भी भीतर बाहर
लो फिर उलझे धुप का रेशम बालों से और
महके सूरज मुझको छु कर
मुझसे मिलो जब तुम सपनो में
मैं न जागूँ फिर सुबहों में
जन्मो पुरानी आस मेरी है
सोची नहीं मैंने कल परसों में
मुझसे मिलो जब अब सपनो में
रख जाना कोई छाप सुनहरी
अधरों पे वो रात तुम्हारी
साथ रहे जो तब तक मेरे
लंबे होते हों जब साए
दिन के ढले जब सांझ चले और
धूल उडे यूँ कुछ सडको पे
मुझ से मिलो जब
तुम सपनो में...
मुझसे मिलो जब तुम सपनो में
क्यों जागूँ मैं फिर सुबहों में
जब झूठ लगे कोई सच से बेहतर
पाँव चलें कुछ रुक पैरों पर
जले साँस भी भीतर बाहर
लो फिर उलझे धुप का रेशम बालों से और
महके सूरज मुझको छु कर
मुझसे मिलो जब तुम सपनो में
मैं न जागूँ फिर सुबहों में
जन्मो पुरानी आस मेरी है
सोची नहीं मैंने कल परसों में
मुझसे मिलो जब अब सपनो में
रख जाना कोई छाप सुनहरी
अधरों पे वो रात तुम्हारी
साथ रहे जो तब तक मेरे
लंबे होते हों जब साए
दिन के ढले जब सांझ चले और
धूल उडे यूँ कुछ सडको पे
मुझ से मिलो जब
तुम सपनो में...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
right and wrong
I have been thinking about how do you know what is right and wrong, because I have been... well, its a long story, no it really is, because I have been thinking about this for a very very long time, for as long as I can remember.
How do you know what actions are right and what are not so right? What is the test? What makes some people so sure and others so doubtful? Any theory that claims to explain the difference must account for everything, every action big and small, no matter how inconvenient it is to do so. Only scientists can afford to overlook hard evidence staring them in the face and say let us assume that this part does not affect our observations, or sometimes not even bother to do that, we will add a correction later. Most of us, however, do not have that luxury, we must reconcile whatever little we know to everything else that we know to be sure that we know anything at all.
Is right different for different people? Can I say, this is what is right for me even though this might be wrong in your opinion? That is the premise the notion of modern tolerance is based upon. It is your life, you get to decide what you need to do, I do not dictate the terms and vice - versa.
On the face of it, it looks like a very civilized evolved way of thinking. Most of us go through life, trying not to get into other people business and think those who do so are merely meddlesome busybodies, trying to stick their fingers where they do not belong. It is almost like being in denial. I don't want to think about it, I do not want to fight this fight, so i will pretend like this is not important enough to discuss. We ignore the issues as long as they do not directly influence our lives - Abortion, Gay Marriages, The war in Afghanistan - they are too much to think about and we say fine, let the people who are involved make the final decisions. Women should have the right to choose - why should I have to think if abortion is the same as murder or not? If the mother is ready to kill her own child, more power to her. Really? that is the civilized way of thinking? Who advocates for the little fifteen week old human being who cannot speak for himself? Who is looking after this kid's best interest? The mother is for some reason or another not, and the society does not want to get involved. We do not want to think about it, so we hide behind tolerance, that's what we do, because the alternative is harsh - a fanatic who tells others what to do.
But is it? Why do we think as a society that murder is wrong, why do we openly have laws against it and why do we penalize people for committing the act? Why is it wrong to kill a 15 year old, but not a 15 week old? Does age matter? If it does, is it more acceptable to kill a 15 year old as opposed to a 50 year old? Does it matter that you know that the child is going to be born with genetic defects? Does that give you some moral high ground to kill them? Would you be standing on the same high ground if you went about shooting mentally retarded people? Why not? Why is one more acceptable than the other?
You see, it is a moral quicksand. You start sinking before you know it.
Right is absolute, it does not come with qualifiers. So every time you go around qualifying, defining, defending your actions, you know something is not quite right with it. Or so it seems... it is very tempting to say that, and there are days when I really do feel that way.
But they are not all the days, there are days when I feel there are no absolutes. There are too many variables, too many factors that affect the outcome, too much happening behind the scenes. Too little information to make a hasty decision.
Unfortunately too little information to make even a well considered, deliberate decision.
I don't know.
There is a reason I have been thinking about this for such a long time.
How do you know what actions are right and what are not so right? What is the test? What makes some people so sure and others so doubtful? Any theory that claims to explain the difference must account for everything, every action big and small, no matter how inconvenient it is to do so. Only scientists can afford to overlook hard evidence staring them in the face and say let us assume that this part does not affect our observations, or sometimes not even bother to do that, we will add a correction later. Most of us, however, do not have that luxury, we must reconcile whatever little we know to everything else that we know to be sure that we know anything at all.
Is right different for different people? Can I say, this is what is right for me even though this might be wrong in your opinion? That is the premise the notion of modern tolerance is based upon. It is your life, you get to decide what you need to do, I do not dictate the terms and vice - versa.
On the face of it, it looks like a very civilized evolved way of thinking. Most of us go through life, trying not to get into other people business and think those who do so are merely meddlesome busybodies, trying to stick their fingers where they do not belong. It is almost like being in denial. I don't want to think about it, I do not want to fight this fight, so i will pretend like this is not important enough to discuss. We ignore the issues as long as they do not directly influence our lives - Abortion, Gay Marriages, The war in Afghanistan - they are too much to think about and we say fine, let the people who are involved make the final decisions. Women should have the right to choose - why should I have to think if abortion is the same as murder or not? If the mother is ready to kill her own child, more power to her. Really? that is the civilized way of thinking? Who advocates for the little fifteen week old human being who cannot speak for himself? Who is looking after this kid's best interest? The mother is for some reason or another not, and the society does not want to get involved. We do not want to think about it, so we hide behind tolerance, that's what we do, because the alternative is harsh - a fanatic who tells others what to do.
But is it? Why do we think as a society that murder is wrong, why do we openly have laws against it and why do we penalize people for committing the act? Why is it wrong to kill a 15 year old, but not a 15 week old? Does age matter? If it does, is it more acceptable to kill a 15 year old as opposed to a 50 year old? Does it matter that you know that the child is going to be born with genetic defects? Does that give you some moral high ground to kill them? Would you be standing on the same high ground if you went about shooting mentally retarded people? Why not? Why is one more acceptable than the other?
You see, it is a moral quicksand. You start sinking before you know it.
Right is absolute, it does not come with qualifiers. So every time you go around qualifying, defining, defending your actions, you know something is not quite right with it. Or so it seems... it is very tempting to say that, and there are days when I really do feel that way.
But they are not all the days, there are days when I feel there are no absolutes. There are too many variables, too many factors that affect the outcome, too much happening behind the scenes. Too little information to make a hasty decision.
Unfortunately too little information to make even a well considered, deliberate decision.
I don't know.
There is a reason I have been thinking about this for such a long time.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
aaj di pe koi zor chalta nahin
I love this part:
kashtiyon ke liye ye bhanwar bhee to hai,
kyaa jaruree hai sab ko kinaaraa mile,
bas yahee soch ke, hum bade chain se
doob jaane lage the, magar ro pade
I guess it is the image of bade chain se doob jaane lage the that gets to me. I can imagine someone going 'okay theek hai ab kahani khatam and then, when the push comes to shove - bachao koi mujhe bhi bachao' :)
kashtiyon ke liye ye bhanwar bhee to hai,
kyaa jaruree hai sab ko kinaaraa mile,
bas yahee soch ke, hum bade chain se
doob jaane lage the, magar ro pade
I guess it is the image of bade chain se doob jaane lage the that gets to me. I can imagine someone going 'okay theek hai ab kahani khatam and then, when the push comes to shove - bachao koi mujhe bhi bachao' :)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Bill Bryson's A short history of nearly everything.
I am reading this book and it is a riot. I have to keep reminding myself not to laugh out so loud. Since I get most of my reading done when I am outside, or when folks at home are sleeping, so...
I think I am enjoying it more because it is such a right time in my life to be reading this, okay that sounds grander than it is, it is just this particular sequence of books that I have or am reading along with this one, that makes me get this one better.
Just this one part I was on last night where he keeps going on and on about how the conditions on earth are just right for human life to survive, and if the earth had been just a little bit closer to or farther from the sun we could not have existed, and blah blah blah... I could gag on that. I had to force myself to read that part. Okay, skim, I would have gladly skipped it altogether, but only because the book has been so good so far so, you gotta cut people some slack, un till finally he says what I have been thinking all along, or more like Mr. Feynman says it, and I go, there, I knew there had to be a reason why I liked him so much. Mr. Feynman that is.
In case you are going what is she talking about? Here is the synopsis:
There are a lot of people who love to marvel at the fact how conditions on earth are just right for human life, how delicate a balance has been struck just so we could thrive, and they give plenty of examples to prove their point. It is a circular argument that looks very promising on the face of it. The trouble is that the truth is more than likely the other way round. Because the conditions were so we evolved. We evolved to suit our conditions not the other way around. You can call it divine providence all you want but really it is just.... well... yeah...
I think I am enjoying it more because it is such a right time in my life to be reading this, okay that sounds grander than it is, it is just this particular sequence of books that I have or am reading along with this one, that makes me get this one better.
Just this one part I was on last night where he keeps going on and on about how the conditions on earth are just right for human life to survive, and if the earth had been just a little bit closer to or farther from the sun we could not have existed, and blah blah blah... I could gag on that. I had to force myself to read that part. Okay, skim, I would have gladly skipped it altogether, but only because the book has been so good so far so, you gotta cut people some slack, un till finally he says what I have been thinking all along, or more like Mr. Feynman says it, and I go, there, I knew there had to be a reason why I liked him so much. Mr. Feynman that is.
In case you are going what is she talking about? Here is the synopsis:
There are a lot of people who love to marvel at the fact how conditions on earth are just right for human life, how delicate a balance has been struck just so we could thrive, and they give plenty of examples to prove their point. It is a circular argument that looks very promising on the face of it. The trouble is that the truth is more than likely the other way round. Because the conditions were so we evolved. We evolved to suit our conditions not the other way around. You can call it divine providence all you want but really it is just.... well... yeah...
Friday, July 3, 2009
tera na hona
You know that song na hai ye pana na khona hi hai ye, tera na hona bhi jane kyon hona hi hai ye, from jab we met, I love that line, that idea, tera na hona ... hona hi hai ye.
I get that. I agree. In a lot of ways your absence is as good as your presence. In a very bad way, it is better than your presence. In your absence I can imagine you to be whatever suits my fancy. In my imagination you say all the things I want to hear. But when you are there yourself, you so irritatingly insist on saying what you want. ugh! what a spoilsport! main nahi khel rahi
ya shayad angoor khatte hain... beggars can't be choosers... whatever... let me live in my delusion. tera na hona bhi .... hona hi hai ye. It is a comforting thought and come to think of it, the external realities of life are of little to no consequence. It is the alternate reality that you create in your brain that helps you survive and get through the drudgery of everyday existence. So go ahead. Knock yourself out. Lord knows I do.
I get that. I agree. In a lot of ways your absence is as good as your presence. In a very bad way, it is better than your presence. In your absence I can imagine you to be whatever suits my fancy. In my imagination you say all the things I want to hear. But when you are there yourself, you so irritatingly insist on saying what you want. ugh! what a spoilsport! main nahi khel rahi
ya shayad angoor khatte hain... beggars can't be choosers... whatever... let me live in my delusion. tera na hona bhi .... hona hi hai ye. It is a comforting thought and come to think of it, the external realities of life are of little to no consequence. It is the alternate reality that you create in your brain that helps you survive and get through the drudgery of everyday existence. So go ahead. Knock yourself out. Lord knows I do.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
is tan ne muk jana
bhanven roz malishan kariye
another Gurdas Mann gem, though I think it is a bit too obvious compared to some of his other wonderful works, but when you put it in front of the other garbage that is spewed off in the name of punjabi songs these days this looks like picasso.
jindagi da hissa ne jame diyan khushiyan mare da rona
or
gall sachi sachhyan diyan
dab ke vahiye raj ke khayiye
thoda khayie kharch layiye, thoda daan punn te layiye
and wow he can still dance, and I think he really is one of the most good looking punjabi singers even now. Perhaps that is what he is telling the younger generation with the other song in the same album, bai ke vekh jawaka, baabe bhangra paunde ne. Who better than him to show the younger generation how it is done.
na oh rahiyan khurakan na oh zor jawani de
dus saalan de kaake maare akh mastani de
ishqe maare fir nasheyan de teeke launde ne
and here is my favourite one, coz it reminds me of my dadi and her saying that you get angry because you are weak, and every health problem could be solved with some sarson ka tel in your head :)
baute laad ladayan nu ajj susti maar gayi
cheti lad painde ne baba khushki maar gayi
tel saron da mushq maarda gellan launde ne
another Gurdas Mann gem, though I think it is a bit too obvious compared to some of his other wonderful works, but when you put it in front of the other garbage that is spewed off in the name of punjabi songs these days this looks like picasso.
jindagi da hissa ne jame diyan khushiyan mare da rona
or
gall sachi sachhyan diyan
dab ke vahiye raj ke khayiye
thoda khayie kharch layiye, thoda daan punn te layiye
and wow he can still dance, and I think he really is one of the most good looking punjabi singers even now. Perhaps that is what he is telling the younger generation with the other song in the same album, bai ke vekh jawaka, baabe bhangra paunde ne. Who better than him to show the younger generation how it is done.
na oh rahiyan khurakan na oh zor jawani de
dus saalan de kaake maare akh mastani de
ishqe maare fir nasheyan de teeke launde ne
and here is my favourite one, coz it reminds me of my dadi and her saying that you get angry because you are weak, and every health problem could be solved with some sarson ka tel in your head :)
baute laad ladayan nu ajj susti maar gayi
cheti lad painde ne baba khushki maar gayi
tel saron da mushq maarda gellan launde ne
Friday, June 19, 2009
lakh pardesi hoyiye
apna des nai bhandida
jhede mulk da khayiye usda bura nai mangida
It is one of those Gurdas Mann songs that you really must listen to each word of, it is very well written and very much steeped in that punjabi folk wisdom that people give you all the time and you hardly listen to them and then years go by and no one says those things to you anymore and you miss them.
maade bande vich vi koi gun changa hovega
jun hunda gunkari badbu lassan di gandi da
niyat bina na kade muradan miliyan milan giyan
jhina marzi paath kara lo ghar vich chandi da
marjaane da maan dhan sab tere hath vich hai
parda kaj layin sainyan meri changi mandi da
jhede mulk da khayiye usda bura nai mangida
It is one of those Gurdas Mann songs that you really must listen to each word of, it is very well written and very much steeped in that punjabi folk wisdom that people give you all the time and you hardly listen to them and then years go by and no one says those things to you anymore and you miss them.
maade bande vich vi koi gun changa hovega
jun hunda gunkari badbu lassan di gandi da
niyat bina na kade muradan miliyan milan giyan
jhina marzi paath kara lo ghar vich chandi da
marjaane da maan dhan sab tere hath vich hai
parda kaj layin sainyan meri changi mandi da
Thursday, June 18, 2009
tumhe dillagi bhool jaani padegi
mohabbat ki raahon me aa kar to dekho
tadapne pe mere na phir tum hasoge
kabhi dil kisi se laga kar to dekho
This is from a time long long ago when I was young and stupid. I am no longer young. Stupid, is debatable.
The year was 95 or 96, and this very good friend of mine was upset about.... well the stuff young people are supposed to be upset about, only, I personally - on account of the above mentioned stupidity - did not much sympathize with his situation and he must have been in a very foul mood because he said with not so much anger as certainty- one of these days you are going to fall in love and that is when you will not find this so funny.
Umm.. back then, I must confess, I actually laughed at him, which in hindsight was a very bad thing to do. You should not laugh at your friends whether you understand them or not. It was just plain wrong. But he was a gem of a person, a real heart of gold to shayad isliye uske shraap ne zindagi me mera zyada nuksaan kiya nahi. But every time I listen to this song I remember that episode and I wish I was more sympathetic, I wish I had not found his predicament that funny, and the trouble is that even if I do meet him in person, which I haven't since we graduated and I have no idea where he is, but even if I did, it is the kind of thing that you cannot really apologize for after this long a time. It is one of those really awkward moments to bring up and might actually be a worse offense than the first one all those years back, so this here, a pubic apology out into the universe is the best that I can do now.
The year is 2009 and it took me twelve years but I do think that I understand what it is to feel that strongly about someone. I think I have a whole new appreciation for love and it is not a teenager's idea of love either, but I have come to understand that even that teenage puppy love must be treated with due respect. What you feel is what you feel and if you deny or belittle your own feelings, then you deny and belittle your own self, in order to deal with something you must first acknowledge its existence, so if i could go back in time, I would actually sit down and listen to his side of the story. Not that it is a big regret in life or something, I understand that I did not understand it back then, and I was acting from a place of ignorance, but in my own paradigm I was being honest and that perhaps is the only redemption.
And that is the other aspect of the song that I admire, that you only understand something when you do. It is like, let's say you have no idea what a square root is, and you see a set of statements like this
2x^2 = 8
x^2 = 4
x = +/- 2
So you say the first step is fine you divided by 2 but what about the next. Remember you don't know the concept of a squareroot. It will bother you, you might even be sure that this is a mistake, and the thing is, it should, because you don't know, if you pretend to be smarter than you are and say ok something happens here, well you are not being completely honest are you?
I suppose that is how it is meant to be. You hold strong opinions, and insist you know what is right and wrong, you go through life judging others and holding yourself in high esteem and then life shows you the other aspect, their side of the story, and you realize how much in error you have been, how wrong your in judgments and worse, how foolish, hasty, and naive in your criticisms. That perhaps is the growing process. Learning, is painful and humbling.
tadapne pe mere na phir tum hasoge
kabhi dil kisi se laga kar to dekho
This is from a time long long ago when I was young and stupid. I am no longer young. Stupid, is debatable.
The year was 95 or 96, and this very good friend of mine was upset about.... well the stuff young people are supposed to be upset about, only, I personally - on account of the above mentioned stupidity - did not much sympathize with his situation and he must have been in a very foul mood because he said with not so much anger as certainty- one of these days you are going to fall in love and that is when you will not find this so funny.
Umm.. back then, I must confess, I actually laughed at him, which in hindsight was a very bad thing to do. You should not laugh at your friends whether you understand them or not. It was just plain wrong. But he was a gem of a person, a real heart of gold to shayad isliye uske shraap ne zindagi me mera zyada nuksaan kiya nahi. But every time I listen to this song I remember that episode and I wish I was more sympathetic, I wish I had not found his predicament that funny, and the trouble is that even if I do meet him in person, which I haven't since we graduated and I have no idea where he is, but even if I did, it is the kind of thing that you cannot really apologize for after this long a time. It is one of those really awkward moments to bring up and might actually be a worse offense than the first one all those years back, so this here, a pubic apology out into the universe is the best that I can do now.
The year is 2009 and it took me twelve years but I do think that I understand what it is to feel that strongly about someone. I think I have a whole new appreciation for love and it is not a teenager's idea of love either, but I have come to understand that even that teenage puppy love must be treated with due respect. What you feel is what you feel and if you deny or belittle your own feelings, then you deny and belittle your own self, in order to deal with something you must first acknowledge its existence, so if i could go back in time, I would actually sit down and listen to his side of the story. Not that it is a big regret in life or something, I understand that I did not understand it back then, and I was acting from a place of ignorance, but in my own paradigm I was being honest and that perhaps is the only redemption.
And that is the other aspect of the song that I admire, that you only understand something when you do. It is like, let's say you have no idea what a square root is, and you see a set of statements like this
2x^2 = 8
x^2 = 4
x = +/- 2
So you say the first step is fine you divided by 2 but what about the next. Remember you don't know the concept of a squareroot. It will bother you, you might even be sure that this is a mistake, and the thing is, it should, because you don't know, if you pretend to be smarter than you are and say ok something happens here, well you are not being completely honest are you?
I suppose that is how it is meant to be. You hold strong opinions, and insist you know what is right and wrong, you go through life judging others and holding yourself in high esteem and then life shows you the other aspect, their side of the story, and you realize how much in error you have been, how wrong your in judgments and worse, how foolish, hasty, and naive in your criticisms. That perhaps is the growing process. Learning, is painful and humbling.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
radha na bole na bole na bole re
I love this song, if I could dance, as in the future when I learn to dance I would love to dance to this song. Waiting :D
Monday, June 15, 2009
shyam teri bansi
pukaare radha naam
log karen meera ko yu hi badnaam
I love this song, I love hearing it not so much watching it, it is a sad sad sad song, the saddest part being when he says radha ka bhi shyam vo to meera ka bhi shaym...
really? aisa ho sakta hai kya?
aur usse bhi zyada dukh mujhe rukmini devi ke baare me soch kar hota hai. kya kismet hai na, kisi ko mil kar bhi na mile aur kisi ko na mil kar bhi mil jaye.
log karen meera ko yu hi badnaam
I love this song, I love hearing it not so much watching it, it is a sad sad sad song, the saddest part being when he says radha ka bhi shyam vo to meera ka bhi shaym...
really? aisa ho sakta hai kya?
aur usse bhi zyada dukh mujhe rukmini devi ke baare me soch kar hota hai. kya kismet hai na, kisi ko mil kar bhi na mile aur kisi ko na mil kar bhi mil jaye.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I need to do something
Here is the thing, I got these stories in my head, and I should write them. But, I am not... and I don't know why?
arghhh!
here, i am putting down the names so that I have some motivation to do it. I don't know what else to do to spur myself on. i even went and bought one of those stupid games how to lose the writer's block from Barnes and Noble. That was one wasted thirty dollars, I can tell you that much.
they are in two groups, ones that i completely understand and buy the premise of and those that are dicey in my head.
A:
1. The curse of Karna (99.9 % done)
2. You are crazy
3. A matter of Principle
4. Not so stupid
5. The No God (but it needs tonnes of research! so.... )
B:
1. The rogue data point (for the heck of me i cannot decide what she should do at that moment on the subway, that is when the story bifurcates, the universe splits, and I don't know which thread to follow!! My heart wants one thing my head another, ik moh kheenche baiyan, ik laaj roke paiyan... grr... I think this is the one i think about the most... and i wake up with a different decision every morning.)
2. Dripping Diamonds ( I am even dicey on the name)
3. In her own image (My favorite in terms of this being probably the only one that has this ideological love story that I hopelessly carry around in my head, but it overlaps with the no. 6 one so... I have to make up my mind some day. hopefully sooner rather than later)
4. The stranger on the train ( I like it, I think it should be in group A but since I was thinking about it, I put it in group B)
5. The reunion (hmm.. okay this is a happy happy one, and I don't know how well I can pull that off, so... besides I have no idea what the bleeding premise is? Just being happy happy happy is no premise. Is it?)
6. And then there is that (but I think this one is very similar to the in her own image one, i might end up combining the two)
arghhh!
here, i am putting down the names so that I have some motivation to do it. I don't know what else to do to spur myself on. i even went and bought one of those stupid games how to lose the writer's block from Barnes and Noble. That was one wasted thirty dollars, I can tell you that much.
they are in two groups, ones that i completely understand and buy the premise of and those that are dicey in my head.
A:
1. The curse of Karna (99.9 % done)
2. You are crazy
3. A matter of Principle
4. Not so stupid
5. The No God (but it needs tonnes of research! so.... )
B:
1. The rogue data point (for the heck of me i cannot decide what she should do at that moment on the subway, that is when the story bifurcates, the universe splits, and I don't know which thread to follow!! My heart wants one thing my head another, ik moh kheenche baiyan, ik laaj roke paiyan... grr... I think this is the one i think about the most... and i wake up with a different decision every morning.)
2. Dripping Diamonds ( I am even dicey on the name)
3. In her own image (My favorite in terms of this being probably the only one that has this ideological love story that I hopelessly carry around in my head, but it overlaps with the no. 6 one so... I have to make up my mind some day. hopefully sooner rather than later)
4. The stranger on the train ( I like it, I think it should be in group A but since I was thinking about it, I put it in group B)
5. The reunion (hmm.. okay this is a happy happy one, and I don't know how well I can pull that off, so... besides I have no idea what the bleeding premise is? Just being happy happy happy is no premise. Is it?)
6. And then there is that (but I think this one is very similar to the in her own image one, i might end up combining the two)
Friday, June 5, 2009
He's just not that into you.
I watched the movie, I have not read the book and i do not think I will anymore. No, not that the movie was that bad, just I do not think the book would have a whole lot more than the movie did so... why waste effort?
The movie was almost therapeutic. almost because... not quite, it falls for the very myth it sets out to bust - that most of us are the rule not the exception. Trouble is, the protagonists in the movie - some of them at least - end up being the exceptions to the rules. hmm... I guess people need happy endings or no one would watch the movie again. or read the book. Whatever. I don't believe in happy endings. I would like to. I try to. But I just know better.
Here is the premise of the movie : Most girls grow up with the notion that if a guy is behaving like a jerk, it means he likes you. And that this idea is wrong, not true. If a guy is treating you like he does not give a damn about you then, he most likely, actually, truly does not - give a damn about you.
Commendable.
It is a fact. Women do believe that men who are treating them bad are trying to hide how much we mean to them. I have heard that, countless numbers of times, being told to my friends, hell, I think I must have said that to someone too.
But really! Think about it. Aren't there guys that were genuinely nice but you some how did not care about them, and it is possible you might have been mean to them on occasion, but the fact is that it does not keep you up at nights because you really did not care much. So why should it bother any guy who was mean to you? What is so special about you?
It is very hard to accept that there are people out there (both men and women) who do not like us, not everyone can like everyone else, not the same way, and yet, bound to this inherent notion of how-great-I-am, we go to great lengths to weave twisted stories to avoid facing the fact that the person we are confronted with, is not impressed by anything we do.
That's what I liked about the movie, it talks about a very basic flaw in our psyche, this need to prove to some one who does not like us, how incredibly charming we actually are. And the inevitable failure of all such schemes. It is the classic case of being stuck in a mental asylum and trying to prove you are sane. The harder you struggle the tighter they tie you up. It is a losing battle. The smartest thing to do is to cut your losses and move on.
Yes, I am completely aware of how much easier this is said than done.
That is why I liked the movie, it is easier to laugh at someone else than yourself, and your own hopeless efforts in trying to win over the respect, admiration, and friendship of people who are determined to deny you any hint of that - be it your boss, the high school bully,or your mother-in-law. Same principle.
Come to think of it, if they gave it you, you just might not want it. Duniya jaadu ka khilona hai, mil jaaye to mitti kho jaye to sona hai.
The movie was almost therapeutic. almost because... not quite, it falls for the very myth it sets out to bust - that most of us are the rule not the exception. Trouble is, the protagonists in the movie - some of them at least - end up being the exceptions to the rules. hmm... I guess people need happy endings or no one would watch the movie again. or read the book. Whatever. I don't believe in happy endings. I would like to. I try to. But I just know better.
Here is the premise of the movie : Most girls grow up with the notion that if a guy is behaving like a jerk, it means he likes you. And that this idea is wrong, not true. If a guy is treating you like he does not give a damn about you then, he most likely, actually, truly does not - give a damn about you.
Commendable.
It is a fact. Women do believe that men who are treating them bad are trying to hide how much we mean to them. I have heard that, countless numbers of times, being told to my friends, hell, I think I must have said that to someone too.
But really! Think about it. Aren't there guys that were genuinely nice but you some how did not care about them, and it is possible you might have been mean to them on occasion, but the fact is that it does not keep you up at nights because you really did not care much. So why should it bother any guy who was mean to you? What is so special about you?
It is very hard to accept that there are people out there (both men and women) who do not like us, not everyone can like everyone else, not the same way, and yet, bound to this inherent notion of how-great-I-am, we go to great lengths to weave twisted stories to avoid facing the fact that the person we are confronted with, is not impressed by anything we do.
That's what I liked about the movie, it talks about a very basic flaw in our psyche, this need to prove to some one who does not like us, how incredibly charming we actually are. And the inevitable failure of all such schemes. It is the classic case of being stuck in a mental asylum and trying to prove you are sane. The harder you struggle the tighter they tie you up. It is a losing battle. The smartest thing to do is to cut your losses and move on.
Yes, I am completely aware of how much easier this is said than done.
That is why I liked the movie, it is easier to laugh at someone else than yourself, and your own hopeless efforts in trying to win over the respect, admiration, and friendship of people who are determined to deny you any hint of that - be it your boss, the high school bully,or your mother-in-law. Same principle.
Come to think of it, if they gave it you, you just might not want it. Duniya jaadu ka khilona hai, mil jaaye to mitti kho jaye to sona hai.
Monday, June 1, 2009
ode to my mediocrity
मैं जिस जगह पर हूँ
उसे शिखर की ऊँचाई नही कहते
मैं जिस थल पर हूँ
उसे पतन की गहराई नही कहते
मैं वो हूँ जिसे आफ़ताब नही कहते
तो क्या
कि मैं वो हूँ जिसे आज़ाब नही कहते
उसे शिखर की ऊँचाई नही कहते
मैं जिस थल पर हूँ
उसे पतन की गहराई नही कहते
मैं वो हूँ जिसे आफ़ताब नही कहते
तो क्या
कि मैं वो हूँ जिसे आज़ाब नही कहते
Saturday, May 23, 2009
main apne andheron me, kis tarah tumhe bhi pukaar loon??
this was in response to that hemant kumar song - tum pukar lo, tumhara.... intezar hai. this is an argument against any such pukar... :)
मैं अब वक़्त के काटने के कारोबार में हूँ
मैं दिन को शाम शाम से रात
और रात भर किसी सुबह कि फ़िराक़ में हूँ
मैं ये जो पल पल बस जज़ा की इंतज़ार में हूँ
मैं इन अंधेरों में किस तरह तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं पाप और पुण्य के फर्क से होशियार तो हूँ
पर मैं सब की खुशी घर की शान्ति के लिए
सही को ग़लत ग़लत को सही झूठ को सच कहने को तैयार भी हूँ
मैं ये जो फिर एक नए पतन की कगार पर हूँ
मैं इन अंधेरों में किस तरह तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं इस हाल पर कुछ सोगवार तो हूँ
पर मैं सपनो के छल में, जज़्बों के तर्क में
एक भयानक आने वाले कल के डर में गिरिफ्तार भी हूँ
मैं ये जो शामिल तिल तिल कर ख़ुद अपनी हार में हूँ
मैं इन अंधेरों में किस तरह तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं चाह कर भी
अपने अंधेरों में
क्या सोच कर
तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं अब वक़्त के काटने के कारोबार में हूँ
मैं दिन को शाम शाम से रात
और रात भर किसी सुबह कि फ़िराक़ में हूँ
मैं ये जो पल पल बस जज़ा की इंतज़ार में हूँ
मैं इन अंधेरों में किस तरह तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं पाप और पुण्य के फर्क से होशियार तो हूँ
पर मैं सब की खुशी घर की शान्ति के लिए
सही को ग़लत ग़लत को सही झूठ को सच कहने को तैयार भी हूँ
मैं ये जो फिर एक नए पतन की कगार पर हूँ
मैं इन अंधेरों में किस तरह तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं इस हाल पर कुछ सोगवार तो हूँ
पर मैं सपनो के छल में, जज़्बों के तर्क में
एक भयानक आने वाले कल के डर में गिरिफ्तार भी हूँ
मैं ये जो शामिल तिल तिल कर ख़ुद अपनी हार में हूँ
मैं इन अंधेरों में किस तरह तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
मैं चाह कर भी
अपने अंधेरों में
क्या सोच कर
तुम्हे भी पुकार लूँ?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
dard
रात ढले जब दर्द चले
रगों में बहता खून जले
सर्द बर्फीली उँगलियों से
बाहों में कोई ज़हर भरे
खींच के एक ही झटके में
वो भीतर का सब बाह्रर करे
नब्ज़ थमे और साँस डरे
जब खिड़की पर कुछ आन रुके
रात ढले जब दर्द चले
रगों में बहता खून जले ...
रगों में बहता खून जले
सर्द बर्फीली उँगलियों से
बाहों में कोई ज़हर भरे
खींच के एक ही झटके में
वो भीतर का सब बाह्रर करे
नब्ज़ थमे और साँस डरे
जब खिड़की पर कुछ आन रुके
रात ढले जब दर्द चले
रगों में बहता खून जले ...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Bruschetta toast
I love these healthy, filling, breakfast toasts, my version of the Bruschettas.
Ingredients:
2 Slices of Bread
1 Tomato
1 Small Red Onion
1 - 2 Green Chillies
1/2 Cup Grated Mozzarella Cheese
3 Tablespoons Coriander leaves
A few fresh Mint and Basil leaves
Salt, Black pepper, and fresh bhuna zeera powder as per your own taste.
Method:
Picture pending :)
Ingredients:
2 Slices of Bread
1 Tomato
1 Small Red Onion
1 - 2 Green Chillies
1/2 Cup Grated Mozzarella Cheese
3 Tablespoons Coriander leaves
A few fresh Mint and Basil leaves
Salt, Black pepper, and fresh bhuna zeera powder as per your own taste.
Method:
- Finely chop the tomato, onion, green chillies, coriander, mint and basil leaves.
- Mix in a bowl and add salt, pepper and bhuna zeera powder as per your taste
- Spread a generous heap of the mixture on the bread pieces, and cover with a thick layer of the grated cheese.
- Bake at 400 degrees C till the cheese melts and the bread toasts from the bottom.
- Garnish with coriander leaves and serve with orange juice.
Picture pending :)
Friday, May 8, 2009
Boncconcini Salad
I have to make all salads spicy and indianized so to speak, or else they will go uneaten. Here is a salad that can very well serve as a complete meal, at least for lunch.
Ingredients:
* Mixed Salad Greens - 1 box 150 gms
* bocconcini cheese - 1 box ( I get the pearls, but any kind should do)
* Tomatoes - 2 cut in large slices.
* orange juice - 10 mL
* Hari Mirchi - 2
* Adrak - 1 " peice grated
* Olive oil - 2 tsp
* the following things add as per your taste:
*Caesar dressing - (any other kind should do well too)
* Salt pepper
* Lal Mirchi
* hing
* zeera
* kadi patta
* rai
* Croutons
* Fried cashews
*Hara dhaniya
Method:
You will need two different bowls to prep the salad. It is best served in individual plates or large bowls, so keep those ready too.
Bowl 1:
* to the salad greens add salt, pepper, orange juice, and dressing.
* Keep aside till plating.
You might want to buy pre-washed greens, or wash and dry yours completely before hand, as the dressing does not evenly coat wet leaves.
Bowl 2:
* Drain the bocconcini pearls and put in a metal or glass bowl
* In a small pan ( i use those small handle wali karahis for tadka) heat some olive oil
* Add jeera, rai, karhi patta, hing, hari mirchi and cook for a minute
* Add grated adrak and cook again
* Add Deghi mirch and pour on top of the bocconcini pearls.
* Mix well and keep aside.
You are now ready to plate the salad. I usually divide each component into equal parts with imaginary lines in my head based on the no of servings I am making, just to ensure that each serving has relatively the same concentration of each ingredient. I don't know why but for some reason it is important to me that all plates are relatively similar heterogeneous mixtures. ahhhh... If that is not a priority you can just keep adding stuff in the same bowl to begin with and serve it as it is.
here is my method, to each plate:
* Add one portion of the greens
* Add half the spiced cheese
* toss half the diced tomatoes
* Garnish with croutons, fried cashews and dhania.
* Voila!! you are done, dig in !
Ingredients:
* Mixed Salad Greens - 1 box 150 gms
* bocconcini cheese - 1 box ( I get the pearls, but any kind should do)
* Tomatoes - 2 cut in large slices.
* orange juice - 10 mL
* Hari Mirchi - 2
* Adrak - 1 " peice grated
* Olive oil - 2 tsp
* the following things add as per your taste:
*Caesar dressing - (any other kind should do well too)
* Salt pepper
* Lal Mirchi
* hing
* zeera
* kadi patta
* rai
* Croutons
* Fried cashews
*Hara dhaniya
Method:
You will need two different bowls to prep the salad. It is best served in individual plates or large bowls, so keep those ready too.
Bowl 1:
* to the salad greens add salt, pepper, orange juice, and dressing.
* Keep aside till plating.
You might want to buy pre-washed greens, or wash and dry yours completely before hand, as the dressing does not evenly coat wet leaves.
Bowl 2:
* Drain the bocconcini pearls and put in a metal or glass bowl
* In a small pan ( i use those small handle wali karahis for tadka) heat some olive oil
* Add jeera, rai, karhi patta, hing, hari mirchi and cook for a minute
* Add grated adrak and cook again
* Add Deghi mirch and pour on top of the bocconcini pearls.
* Mix well and keep aside.
You are now ready to plate the salad. I usually divide each component into equal parts with imaginary lines in my head based on the no of servings I am making, just to ensure that each serving has relatively the same concentration of each ingredient. I don't know why but for some reason it is important to me that all plates are relatively similar heterogeneous mixtures. ahhhh... If that is not a priority you can just keep adding stuff in the same bowl to begin with and serve it as it is.
here is my method, to each plate:
* Add one portion of the greens
* Add half the spiced cheese
* toss half the diced tomatoes
* Garnish with croutons, fried cashews and dhania.
* Voila!! you are done, dig in !
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Butternut Squash Soup
Here's my version of the Butternut Squash Soup, and no, I am not going to bother to list the ingredients first that is way too much work for me, I am going to just write it out, and if you have been cooking for a while you know that that is how we cook as we go along we no longer line up everything before we start, those days are long gone :)
1. Cut the squash lengthwise, remove the seeds, place in a 425 C oven till its tender.
2. Scoop the flesh out and place one half in a zip lock freezer bag to use later, the other half to make the soup. (Personally I do my baking on one day and the other cooking on another so I would freeze both halves but, you get the idea.)
3. Heat 1tbs of extra vigin olive oil in a pressure cooker, add 1 small onion coarsely cut --> heat add 1 tsp zeera, 1 stick of cinnamon,5-6 whole black peppercorns, grated ginger per taste --> Heat --> 1 tsp dhaniya pwd, 1/4 tsp garam masala pwd, salt to taste, -->heat -->+ 1 apple peeled and diced, and some fresh green dhaniya leaves -->heat --> + 1 tomato -->heat --> 1/2 or 1/4 cup cashews --> heat --> the butternut squash and some water. Cook till one whistle.
4. When cool enough, use a hand blender to puree the soup in the cooker itself. Thin to desired consistency with milk or water per your taste.
5. Enjoy with fresh baked croissants.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
taaron ki zuban par hai mohabbat ki kahani
I love this song, well that is sounding redundant now. after all why would i bother to put it on my blog if I did not like it. right!
anyways
तारों कि ज़बान पर है मोहब्बत कि कहानी
ऐ चाँद मुबारक हो तुझे रात सुहानी
कहते हैं जिसे चांदनी है नूर-ऐ-मोहब्बत
तारों से सुनहरी है हमेशा तेरी किस्मत
जा जा के पलट आती है फिर तेरी जवानी --> This here is my favourite line,because it is a beautiful idea, this concept of your youth coming back to you. Besides, इस बरस मुझ पर भी पलट कर आई है - जवानी. Yes, you are right, this just might be the euphoria that precedes a terrible mid life crisis, but if it is okay with you I would like to go ahead and enjoy it while it lasts. तो फिर मेरी तरफ़ से भी ऐ चाँद मुबारक हो तुझे रात सुहानी
I wrote this post a month back and here is the trouble, already ja chuki hai, I feel old again, must have been some euphoria when I wrote that part up there, it lasted a while too, for the past sometime i have been very happy and hopeful. Right now, not so much. नही नही ठीक है ठीक है, मुझे positive thinking वाला ज्ञान मत दो अभी, मुझे उसका इल्म है, पर, hard to think positive when you are churning your guts out all the time, and no, I am not complaining stating a fact here is all.
Movie: Nausherwan-E-Adil (1957)
Singers: Lata mangeshkar ,Mohammad Rafi
Music: C. Ramchandra
Lyrics:Parvez shamsi
anyways
तारों कि ज़बान पर है मोहब्बत कि कहानी
ऐ चाँद मुबारक हो तुझे रात सुहानी
कहते हैं जिसे चांदनी है नूर-ऐ-मोहब्बत
तारों से सुनहरी है हमेशा तेरी किस्मत
जा जा के पलट आती है फिर तेरी जवानी --> This here is my favourite line,because it is a beautiful idea, this concept of your youth coming back to you. Besides, इस बरस मुझ पर भी पलट कर आई है - जवानी. Yes, you are right, this just might be the euphoria that precedes a terrible mid life crisis, but if it is okay with you I would like to go ahead and enjoy it while it lasts. तो फिर मेरी तरफ़ से भी ऐ चाँद मुबारक हो तुझे रात सुहानी
I wrote this post a month back and here is the trouble, already ja chuki hai, I feel old again, must have been some euphoria when I wrote that part up there, it lasted a while too, for the past sometime i have been very happy and hopeful. Right now, not so much. नही नही ठीक है ठीक है, मुझे positive thinking वाला ज्ञान मत दो अभी, मुझे उसका इल्म है, पर, hard to think positive when you are churning your guts out all the time, and no, I am not complaining stating a fact here is all.
Movie: Nausherwan-E-Adil (1957)
Singers: Lata mangeshkar ,Mohammad Rafi
Music: C. Ramchandra
Lyrics:Parvez shamsi
Thursday, April 30, 2009
ek vivah aisa bhi
I just watched this movie and well... I cried, like a baby in the end.
I mean it is a cliched and trite movie like nobody's business and yet l thought it was ronmantic like awww... yes I know how to spell romantic - itne bure din nahi aayen hain.
Parts of it were very irritating, but on the whole you fall in love with the characters, or at least I did. But you have to remember ki main to bhai hum aapke hain kaun, aur hum saath saath hain dekh kar bhi royi thi.
In case you do go and watch the movie and then wonder where did I fall apart? Well, the part that I actually cried about was the time when the barat finally comes in the end and and all those loons are singing 'lo ji hum aa gaye hain' It is the second time the song plays in the movie and the first time it was barely tolerable as in the lyrics are not what you might call brilliant, but the second time somehow something changed and it actually resonated with me, the whole scenario did.
I loved that line ' ye vo var hai jiske liye taras gayi thi varmala' That is beautiful, isn't it.
I mean it is a cliched and trite movie like nobody's business and yet l thought it was ronmantic like awww... yes I know how to spell romantic - itne bure din nahi aayen hain.
Parts of it were very irritating, but on the whole you fall in love with the characters, or at least I did. But you have to remember ki main to bhai hum aapke hain kaun, aur hum saath saath hain dekh kar bhi royi thi.
In case you do go and watch the movie and then wonder where did I fall apart? Well, the part that I actually cried about was the time when the barat finally comes in the end and and all those loons are singing 'lo ji hum aa gaye hain' It is the second time the song plays in the movie and the first time it was barely tolerable as in the lyrics are not what you might call brilliant, but the second time somehow something changed and it actually resonated with me, the whole scenario did.
I loved that line ' ye vo var hai jiske liye taras gayi thi varmala' That is beautiful, isn't it.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Deewana banana hai to
It is a very beautiful ghazal by Behzad Lakhnawi, I am trying to write the lyrics because a) they are eloquent and b) I can't see them on the web, at least not found on a rudimentary search. :) There, my contribution to the world, today's good act. ha ha, okay sorry am not doing it for altruistic motives this is purely for my own enjoyment.
Deewana banana hai to deewana bana de
Varna kahin taqdeer tamasha na bana de
Ai dekhne waalon mujhe has has ke na dekho
Tumko bhi kahin mohabbat mujh sa na bana de (Oh! that is ..... well, it has happened to me and i am sure to a lot of other ppl, when you make fun of someone, life shows you their side eventually doesn't it? ;) )
Main dhoond raha hoon jisko meri vo shamma kahan hai
Jo bajzm ki har cheez ko parwaana bana de ( Ahem ! hmm... biased opinion but, whatever)
Akhir koi soorat to ho khana-e-dil ki
Kaba nahi banta to butkhana bana de (Waah waah! my feelings exactly)
Behzad har ek gaam pe ek sajda-e-masti
Har zarre ko sang-e-dar-e-jana na bana de ( :D um hmm, sure, why not? )
Here a link to Begum Akhtar's rendition
Deewana banana hai to deewana bana de
Varna kahin taqdeer tamasha na bana de
Ai dekhne waalon mujhe has has ke na dekho
Tumko bhi kahin mohabbat mujh sa na bana de (Oh! that is ..... well, it has happened to me and i am sure to a lot of other ppl, when you make fun of someone, life shows you their side eventually doesn't it? ;) )
Main dhoond raha hoon jisko meri vo shamma kahan hai
Jo bajzm ki har cheez ko parwaana bana de ( Ahem ! hmm... biased opinion but, whatever)
Akhir koi soorat to ho khana-e-dil ki
Kaba nahi banta to butkhana bana de (Waah waah! my feelings exactly)
Behzad har ek gaam pe ek sajda-e-masti
Har zarre ko sang-e-dar-e-jana na bana de ( :D um hmm, sure, why not? )
Here a link to Begum Akhtar's rendition
Friday, April 24, 2009
when you are sick
When you are sick what you want more than anything else is health.When you get better, you forget how bad it was.
Not forget entirely but you put it out of your mind so to speak.
For the first two days you are very grateful for the return of your abilities, to be able to taste food, drink cold water, sit up without hurting, sleep without waking up fifty times and so on.... but slowly it wears off, and you start taking it all for granted again. Come to think of it that is how it should be too, if you keep thinking about your sickness what good is it to be well again?
I am sick right now. Have been for many days, and I am hating it.
My brain is addled up mush, I cannot think straight, I don't sleep - I drift in and out of consciousness, I have crazy dreams where people give me lectures on how to fertilize a rose bush and I wake up begging them to stop filling my head with data I really do not need, really I just buy the ready made rose fertilizer and hope the manufacturer knows what ratio the Nitrogen and Phosphorous need to be in, I do not need to worry about it, but in my dreams I do.
I keep telling myself that if I can get two good paragraphs of description out of this then that will be something. I can use that in a story where I can make someone fall sick.
What? Waste not want not...
And that is the worst of it, I cannot. I have not been able to put in words how horrible I am feeling right now, how desperate to feel like myself again, how frustrated at not being able to do anything about it.
I am actually missing not being able to do stuff like cooking and cleaning. That tells you how bad it is.
These days I actually eat things based on the ease of throwing them up, like its easier to throw up roti than chawal, they stick in places, shoot am I grossing you out! sorry I am just all messed up. Its all twisted in my head.
Not forget entirely but you put it out of your mind so to speak.
For the first two days you are very grateful for the return of your abilities, to be able to taste food, drink cold water, sit up without hurting, sleep without waking up fifty times and so on.... but slowly it wears off, and you start taking it all for granted again. Come to think of it that is how it should be too, if you keep thinking about your sickness what good is it to be well again?
I am sick right now. Have been for many days, and I am hating it.
My brain is addled up mush, I cannot think straight, I don't sleep - I drift in and out of consciousness, I have crazy dreams where people give me lectures on how to fertilize a rose bush and I wake up begging them to stop filling my head with data I really do not need, really I just buy the ready made rose fertilizer and hope the manufacturer knows what ratio the Nitrogen and Phosphorous need to be in, I do not need to worry about it, but in my dreams I do.
I keep telling myself that if I can get two good paragraphs of description out of this then that will be something. I can use that in a story where I can make someone fall sick.
What? Waste not want not...
And that is the worst of it, I cannot. I have not been able to put in words how horrible I am feeling right now, how desperate to feel like myself again, how frustrated at not being able to do anything about it.
I am actually missing not being able to do stuff like cooking and cleaning. That tells you how bad it is.
These days I actually eat things based on the ease of throwing them up, like its easier to throw up roti than chawal, they stick in places, shoot am I grossing you out! sorry I am just all messed up. Its all twisted in my head.
Bade armaano se rakha hai balam
pyar ki duniya me ye pehla kadam
I capital L love this song, unfortunately the video is not too good, but I could not find a better one, besides I just listen to it. :) I think I posted another song from this movie long back, kahan ho tum zara aawaz do hum yaad katen hain. Like this one way better
Movie: Malhaar (1951)
Singers: Lata Mangeshkar and Mukesh
I capital L love this song, unfortunately the video is not too good, but I could not find a better one, besides I just listen to it. :) I think I posted another song from this movie long back, kahan ho tum zara aawaz do hum yaad katen hain. Like this one way better
Movie: Malhaar (1951)
Singers: Lata Mangeshkar and Mukesh
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
jab se tumhe dekha hai
aakhon me tumhi tum ho
:) Infectious happy song. I cannot stop smiling when I listen to it, or not sing along. they both look so young and full of life and of course this famous Brindavan Garden brings back a lot of memories. saari hindi filmon me mysore jaa kar ke ek gaana to yaahan shoot hota hi hoga nahi? I remember walking through this park as a little girl, and pretending to be a hindi film heroine, hopping along, and my dad yelling in the background you will fall in to the water, come back. ugh!
shoot did I just admit that? whatever...
dil ke naye naghmon ki taano mein tumhi tum ho. hum bhi yehi kehten hain saanson me tumhi tum ho.
Movie: Gharana (1961)
Singers: Mohd. Rafi Asha Bhosle
:) Infectious happy song. I cannot stop smiling when I listen to it, or not sing along. they both look so young and full of life and of course this famous Brindavan Garden brings back a lot of memories. saari hindi filmon me mysore jaa kar ke ek gaana to yaahan shoot hota hi hoga nahi? I remember walking through this park as a little girl, and pretending to be a hindi film heroine, hopping along, and my dad yelling in the background you will fall in to the water, come back. ugh!
shoot did I just admit that? whatever...
dil ke naye naghmon ki taano mein tumhi tum ho. hum bhi yehi kehten hain saanson me tumhi tum ho.
Movie: Gharana (1961)
Singers: Mohd. Rafi Asha Bhosle
Monday, April 20, 2009
mere tumhare beech mein
ab to na parbat na saagar
nis din rahe khayalon mein tum
ab ho jaayo ujagar
ab aan milo sajna
Jhuk gaya aasman has to be my most favourite movie. Ever. I have seen it I do not know how many times and I can still watch it over and over again. I never get bored of it.
This particular song I think I like the audio better than the video, no reason, just generally, Lata Mangeshkar's voice is so beautiful, I would rather close my eyes and listen to it.
and then ofcourse, kaun hai jo sapno mein aaya.... is beautiful. My favourite part of that song is
jism ko maut aati hai, lekin rooh ko maut aati nahi hai. Ishq roshan hai roshan rahega, roshni iski jaati nahi hai.
and that one about bekhudi ka ye aalam na poocho, manzilon se bradha ja raha hoon. :) hmm... kaafi bevakoofi ki baat hai, but I can so relate to it.
nis din rahe khayalon mein tum
ab ho jaayo ujagar
ab aan milo sajna
Jhuk gaya aasman has to be my most favourite movie. Ever. I have seen it I do not know how many times and I can still watch it over and over again. I never get bored of it.
This particular song I think I like the audio better than the video, no reason, just generally, Lata Mangeshkar's voice is so beautiful, I would rather close my eyes and listen to it.
and then ofcourse, kaun hai jo sapno mein aaya.... is beautiful. My favourite part of that song is
jism ko maut aati hai, lekin rooh ko maut aati nahi hai. Ishq roshan hai roshan rahega, roshni iski jaati nahi hai.
and that one about bekhudi ka ye aalam na poocho, manzilon se bradha ja raha hoon. :) hmm... kaafi bevakoofi ki baat hai, but I can so relate to it.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
yaad na jaaye beete dino ki
It is one of those songs you cannot listen to and not feel bad. *(too many negatives in that sentence ? argh!)
Mohd. Rafi's voice is unsurpassed. My favorite part is the way he sings:
तस्वीर उनकी छुपाके, रख दूँ जहां जी चाहे
मन में बसी ये मूरत
लेकिन मिटी न मिटाए
कहने को है वो पराए
Movie: Dil Ek mandir (1963)
Music: Shankar jai kishan
Singer: Mohd. Rafi
Lyrics: Shailendra
Mohd. Rafi's voice is unsurpassed. My favorite part is the way he sings:
तस्वीर उनकी छुपाके, रख दूँ जहां जी चाहे
मन में बसी ये मूरत
लेकिन मिटी न मिटाए
कहने को है वो पराए
Movie: Dil Ek mandir (1963)
Music: Shankar jai kishan
Singer: Mohd. Rafi
Lyrics: Shailendra
Friday, April 17, 2009
piya aiso jiya mein samayi gayo re
ki main tan man ki sudh budh gavan baithi
It is one of those rare songs that the video is as amazing as the audio. I cannot pick which I like better, Geeta Dutt's haunting voice or Meena Kumari's ethereal beauty. The cinematography is way over the top too. :) Love it.
Movie: Sahib Bibi aur Gulam (1962)
Singer: Geeta Dutt
Music: Hemant Kumar
Lyricist : Shakeel Badayuni
It is one of those rare songs that the video is as amazing as the audio. I cannot pick which I like better, Geeta Dutt's haunting voice or Meena Kumari's ethereal beauty. The cinematography is way over the top too. :) Love it.
Movie: Sahib Bibi aur Gulam (1962)
Singer: Geeta Dutt
Music: Hemant Kumar
Lyricist : Shakeel Badayuni
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
kisko naman karoon main bharat
- Ramdhaari Singh Ji Dinkar
This is one of my favourite poems of Dinkarji.
तुझको या तेरे नदीश, गिरि, वन को नमन करूँ, मैं ?
मेरे प्यारे देश ! देह या मन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
किसको नमन करूँ मैं भारत ! किसको नमन करूँ मैं ?
भू के मानचित्र पर अंकित त्रिभुज, यही क्या तू है ?
नर के नभश्चरण की दृढ़ कल्पना नहीं क्या तू है ?
भेदों का ज्ञाता, निगूढ़ताओं का चिर ज्ञानी है,
मेरे प्यारे देश !
नहीं तू पत्थर है, पानी है।
जड़ताओं में छिपे किसी चेतन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
भारत नहीं स्थान का वाचक, गुण विशेष नर का है,
एक देश का नहीं, शील यह भूमंडल भर का है ।
जहाँ कहीं एकता अखंडित, जहाँ प्रेम का स्वर है,
देश-देश में वहाँ खड़ा भारत जीवित भास्कर है ।
निखिल विश्व को जन्मभूमि-वंदन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
खंडित है यह मही शैल से, सरिता से सागर से,
पर, जब भी दो हाथ निकल मिलते आ द्वीपांतर से,
तब खाई को पाट शून्य में महामोद मचता है,
दो द्वीपों के बीच सेतु यह भारत ही रचता है।
मंगलमय यह महासेतु-बंधन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
दो हृदय के तार जहाँ भी जो जन जोड़ रहे हैं,
मित्र-भाव की ओर विश्व की गति को मोड़ रहे हैं,
घोल रहे हैं जो जीवन-सरिता में प्रेम-रसायन,
खोर रहे हैं देश-देश के बीच मुँदे वातायन।
आत्मबंधु कहकर ऐसे जन-जन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
उठे जहाँ भी घोष शांति का, भारत, स्वर तेरा है,
धर्म-दीप हो जिसके भी कर में वह नर तेरा है,
तेरा है वह वीर, सत्य पर जो अड़ने आता है,
किसी न्याय के लिए प्राण अर्पित करने जाता है।
मानवता के इस ललाट-वंदन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
This is one of my favourite poems of Dinkarji.
तुझको या तेरे नदीश, गिरि, वन को नमन करूँ, मैं ?
मेरे प्यारे देश ! देह या मन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
किसको नमन करूँ मैं भारत ! किसको नमन करूँ मैं ?
भू के मानचित्र पर अंकित त्रिभुज, यही क्या तू है ?
नर के नभश्चरण की दृढ़ कल्पना नहीं क्या तू है ?
भेदों का ज्ञाता, निगूढ़ताओं का चिर ज्ञानी है,
मेरे प्यारे देश !
नहीं तू पत्थर है, पानी है।
जड़ताओं में छिपे किसी चेतन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
भारत नहीं स्थान का वाचक, गुण विशेष नर का है,
एक देश का नहीं, शील यह भूमंडल भर का है ।
जहाँ कहीं एकता अखंडित, जहाँ प्रेम का स्वर है,
देश-देश में वहाँ खड़ा भारत जीवित भास्कर है ।
निखिल विश्व को जन्मभूमि-वंदन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
खंडित है यह मही शैल से, सरिता से सागर से,
पर, जब भी दो हाथ निकल मिलते आ द्वीपांतर से,
तब खाई को पाट शून्य में महामोद मचता है,
दो द्वीपों के बीच सेतु यह भारत ही रचता है।
मंगलमय यह महासेतु-बंधन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
दो हृदय के तार जहाँ भी जो जन जोड़ रहे हैं,
मित्र-भाव की ओर विश्व की गति को मोड़ रहे हैं,
घोल रहे हैं जो जीवन-सरिता में प्रेम-रसायन,
खोर रहे हैं देश-देश के बीच मुँदे वातायन।
आत्मबंधु कहकर ऐसे जन-जन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
उठे जहाँ भी घोष शांति का, भारत, स्वर तेरा है,
धर्म-दीप हो जिसके भी कर में वह नर तेरा है,
तेरा है वह वीर, सत्य पर जो अड़ने आता है,
किसी न्याय के लिए प्राण अर्पित करने जाता है।
मानवता के इस ललाट-वंदन को नमन करूँ मैं ?
Sunday, April 12, 2009
pal - 2
This is the second one in the trilogy of Pal। I posted the first one some time back, I have not yet written the third one. The first is a happier poem, I hope so is the third one :) whenever I write it.
कुछ बीत गए, कुछ हैं बाकी
कुछ हँसते थे, कुछ गम के साथी
कितने लम्हे
सब मेरे साथी
इक पल में जीना मुश्किल था
इक पल में धरती अम्बर थी
इक पल मेरे साथ थे तुम
इक पल कैसी वीरानी थी
इक पल नदिया सागर थी
यूँ झूमती गाती आती थी
उसके एक छोर से दूसरे तक, अंतहीन कहानी थी
फिर इक दिन, ख़ुद सागर,
केवल घडों पानी।
इस पल जीवन समझ में आया
उस पल कैसी नादानी थी
भरी दोपहरी सोयी मैं
इक रात जाग कर काटी थी।
उस पल कितने फूल खिले
खुशबू को कितने रंग मिले
उसे जली घास में ढूँढ रही वो
कोई बसंत कि दीवानी थी
इक पल सपना देखा था
इक पल सब जग अपना था
फिर पल में सपना टूट गया
घर भी मुझसे छूट गया और
तू भी मुझसे रूठ गया
तो भी नहीं हैरानी थी।
इस पल जीवन समझ में आया
उस पल कैसी नादानी थी।
कुछ बीत गए, कुछ हैं बाकी
कुछ हँसते थे, कुछ गम के साथी
कितने लम्हे
सब मेरे साथी
इक पल में जीना मुश्किल था
इक पल में धरती अम्बर थी
इक पल मेरे साथ थे तुम
इक पल कैसी वीरानी थी
इक पल नदिया सागर थी
यूँ झूमती गाती आती थी
उसके एक छोर से दूसरे तक, अंतहीन कहानी थी
फिर इक दिन, ख़ुद सागर,
केवल घडों पानी।
इस पल जीवन समझ में आया
उस पल कैसी नादानी थी
भरी दोपहरी सोयी मैं
इक रात जाग कर काटी थी।
उस पल कितने फूल खिले
खुशबू को कितने रंग मिले
उसे जली घास में ढूँढ रही वो
कोई बसंत कि दीवानी थी
इक पल सपना देखा था
इक पल सब जग अपना था
फिर पल में सपना टूट गया
घर भी मुझसे छूट गया और
तू भी मुझसे रूठ गया
तो भी नहीं हैरानी थी।
इस पल जीवन समझ में आया
उस पल कैसी नादानी थी।
Saturday, April 11, 2009
mohd rafi for kishore kumar
I like this video link, Mohd. Rafi singing for Kishore Kumar. Some people might hate it, purists who like either one of them too much that is. No, I am not one of them. I think it is possible to admire both. oh and there is still room for Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan :P
Friday, April 10, 2009
na jee bhar ke dekha
na kuch baat kii
badi aarzoo thi mulaqat kii
This from experience, always happens, the stuff you anticipate, disappoints you like no body's business. Moral of the story - do not get your hopes up, no matter what.
:)
Here are two versions, I like the words in the first one better
khuda ke liye kuch to irshad ho
duhaai ho shikwa ho fariyaad ho
koi tarjumani ho jazbaat ki
badi aarzoo thi mulaqat ki
badi aarzoo thi mulaqat kii
This from experience, always happens, the stuff you anticipate, disappoints you like no body's business. Moral of the story - do not get your hopes up, no matter what.
:)
Here are two versions, I like the words in the first one better
khuda ke liye kuch to irshad ho
duhaai ho shikwa ho fariyaad ho
koi tarjumani ho jazbaat ki
badi aarzoo thi mulaqat ki
and i am up again.
yep! but I did sleep. I am not feeling too well, and I dislike that. I am not the kind of person who makes a good invalid, it just gets to me.... I pity the people who have to take care of me.
The worst part of this recent bout is the taste in my mouth and what that does to the taste of coffee.
I actually had to throw away some very good coffee coz it tasted horrible. ugh!
Which brings me to the problem that I can no longer say I like coffee, I like the taste of coffee when I am feeling well, everything must be qualified.
But that perhaps goes without saying, because there are no absolutes in life.
It is like saying I love you, I love you no matter what.
Well, not true. You will not love him so much if he turns out to be a chauvinistic, abusive, wife-beating kind of a man.
You might still stay with him - for your own reasons - but I don't think you would love him the way you did when you claimed you would love him no matter what.
There are no unconditional promises in life, or very few can make and keep them at the least.
There, I feel much better having to throw away my cup.
The worst part of this recent bout is the taste in my mouth and what that does to the taste of coffee.
I actually had to throw away some very good coffee coz it tasted horrible. ugh!
Which brings me to the problem that I can no longer say I like coffee, I like the taste of coffee when I am feeling well, everything must be qualified.
But that perhaps goes without saying, because there are no absolutes in life.
It is like saying I love you, I love you no matter what.
Well, not true. You will not love him so much if he turns out to be a chauvinistic, abusive, wife-beating kind of a man.
You might still stay with him - for your own reasons - but I don't think you would love him the way you did when you claimed you would love him no matter what.
There are no unconditional promises in life, or very few can make and keep them at the least.
There, I feel much better having to throw away my cup.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
kaun kehta hai tujhe maine bhula rakhha hai?
- by Jan Nisaar Akhtar
I am looking for a link to upload Talat Mahmood's beautifully sung version too, haven't figured out how to put my own mp3's and haven't found one on the web yet. Will do that asap. I think it's a beautiful poem.
कौन कहता है तुझे मैंने भुला रखा हैतेरी यादों को कलेजे से लगा रखा है
लब पे आहें भी नहीं आँख में आंसू भी नहीं
दिल ने हर राज़ मुहब्बत का छुपा रखा है
तूने जो दिल के अँधेरे में जलाया थे कभी
वो दिया आज भी सीने में जला रखा है
देख जा आके महकते हुए ज़ख्मों कि बाह्रर
मैंने अब तक तेरे गुलशन को सजा रखा है
It's a very nice poem, I just have some issues with लब पे आहें भी नहीं आँख में आंसू भी नहीं दिल ने हर राज़ मुहब्बत का छुपा रखा है, no, I think it is a beautiful line, and to large degree it is true to a lot of people. It sounds hard but it is not. Most people I know do it without even thinking about it. Things they want from life, things they had hoped to have, they put it so deep inside themselves no one would be able to guess what their deepest desires are. We keep going through the rigmarole of everyday existence in some misplaced sense of upholding the sanctity of what must be done. So my question then is, to what purpose? छिपा ही लिया तो कौन सा तीर मार लिया, बता भी देते तो क्या आफत आ जाती साहब?
Life is only as simple or as complicated as you choose to make it. It is the simplest thing in life, to admit what you want and it is equally simple to fall into the rut of denial, of insisting nah, I don't care. Unfortunately, over time, we get emotionally invested in our positions, we consider it a loss of face to recant. The ego is a bad commander, it rakes up unnecessary casualties. If there is one thing I have learned in all my years, it is that putting things out in the open and talking about them is far saner than pushing them under the carpet. Have I digressed too far from the topic? I don't know. What I am trying to say is that people react surprising well, when you tell them how actually feel about a particular issue, in most cases the fears you have built up are in your head alone. Eventually people are people, and we are more alike than we are different, and we are more nicer than we are not, and we actually do understand each other more than we do not. It is my ego that wants me to think I am unique and different and you will just not understand what I am trying to tell you, because it is devastating to think that I am not, that you just might actually get it. But, where is the grandeur in that?
Actually i do think i am on track, because this love business, these movies, and poems, and books, have just blown it out of proportion, made it into the monster that it is not. It is a very simple thing falling in love, it should be equally simple admitting it. Liking you doesn't make me any less of a person, so what's the big deal here?
then again maybe that is not what the poem is saying. I am really confused here, the thing is I have been working on something that is very closely related to this poem and I have been going over its meaning over and over to the point where it has become meaningless, its like the same word repeatedly on a loop, mother, mother, mother, mother, till you wonder what mother means.
right! yeah, I think I should go to sleep.
It's a very nice poem, I just have some issues with लब पे आहें भी नहीं आँख में आंसू भी नहीं दिल ने हर राज़ मुहब्बत का छुपा रखा है, no, I think it is a beautiful line, and to large degree it is true to a lot of people. It sounds hard but it is not. Most people I know do it without even thinking about it. Things they want from life, things they had hoped to have, they put it so deep inside themselves no one would be able to guess what their deepest desires are. We keep going through the rigmarole of everyday existence in some misplaced sense of upholding the sanctity of what must be done. So my question then is, to what purpose? छिपा ही लिया तो कौन सा तीर मार लिया, बता भी देते तो क्या आफत आ जाती साहब?
Life is only as simple or as complicated as you choose to make it. It is the simplest thing in life, to admit what you want and it is equally simple to fall into the rut of denial, of insisting nah, I don't care. Unfortunately, over time, we get emotionally invested in our positions, we consider it a loss of face to recant. The ego is a bad commander, it rakes up unnecessary casualties. If there is one thing I have learned in all my years, it is that putting things out in the open and talking about them is far saner than pushing them under the carpet. Have I digressed too far from the topic? I don't know. What I am trying to say is that people react surprising well, when you tell them how actually feel about a particular issue, in most cases the fears you have built up are in your head alone. Eventually people are people, and we are more alike than we are different, and we are more nicer than we are not, and we actually do understand each other more than we do not. It is my ego that wants me to think I am unique and different and you will just not understand what I am trying to tell you, because it is devastating to think that I am not, that you just might actually get it. But, where is the grandeur in that?
Actually i do think i am on track, because this love business, these movies, and poems, and books, have just blown it out of proportion, made it into the monster that it is not. It is a very simple thing falling in love, it should be equally simple admitting it. Liking you doesn't make me any less of a person, so what's the big deal here?
then again maybe that is not what the poem is saying. I am really confused here, the thing is I have been working on something that is very closely related to this poem and I have been going over its meaning over and over to the point where it has become meaningless, its like the same word repeatedly on a loop, mother, mother, mother, mother, till you wonder what mother means.
right! yeah, I think I should go to sleep.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Ender's game
I read Ender's game when a student of mine asked me how I could be a science teacher and not read science fiction? I really did not know what to say. You see, I could not figure out if it was a very smart question or a very stupid question to ask. What is the correlation? Is there one? Do all science teachers read science fiction? Should we not instead look down upon it, after all it's not real science now is it? Don't journalists look down upon paparazzi? They don't get the real news :)
okay, bad analogy. Kill me.
I have read a lot of science fiction since, thanks to some very dedicated students and a die hard science fiction junkie of a friend.
I think Ender's Game is high on the list. Though the second time round it was not that much fun, once you know the secret it is hard to be surprised, but then all thrillers suffer from that flaw. Personally i think it is a great book to read once at least, though in all honesty I must admit that none of my book club women liked it, which is very surprising to me and very disheartening because that book on their list was the reason I joined their club in the first place that and Sense and Sensibility. So I was disappointed in them, they keep reading all those sad, tear jerking, emotionally manipulative stories from the middle east, and they wrinkle up their noses at this. But consider the demographics, they are all white middle aged women in their early 30's to late 60's, if you donot belong to that group, you just might like the book. I do. And I am the only brown person in there. :) No, don't nobody go around construing that as racism, I am just stating a fact here, and yes, there probably is no correlation either, i am just .... making a rationalization, mostly because i really like my book club and i really wanted them to like Ender's Game, and it is very isolating to be the only person in the room who says I loved the book and every one else looks at you like you are from another planet, because they all hated it.
okay, bad analogy. Kill me.
I have read a lot of science fiction since, thanks to some very dedicated students and a die hard science fiction junkie of a friend.
I think Ender's Game is high on the list. Though the second time round it was not that much fun, once you know the secret it is hard to be surprised, but then all thrillers suffer from that flaw. Personally i think it is a great book to read once at least, though in all honesty I must admit that none of my book club women liked it, which is very surprising to me and very disheartening because that book on their list was the reason I joined their club in the first place that and Sense and Sensibility. So I was disappointed in them, they keep reading all those sad, tear jerking, emotionally manipulative stories from the middle east, and they wrinkle up their noses at this. But consider the demographics, they are all white middle aged women in their early 30's to late 60's, if you donot belong to that group, you just might like the book. I do. And I am the only brown person in there. :) No, don't nobody go around construing that as racism, I am just stating a fact here, and yes, there probably is no correlation either, i am just .... making a rationalization, mostly because i really like my book club and i really wanted them to like Ender's Game, and it is very isolating to be the only person in the room who says I loved the book and every one else looks at you like you are from another planet, because they all hated it.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
tumne mujhe dekha ho kar meherbaan
ruk gayi ye zameen, tham gaya aasmaan.
It's a beautiful song, I love his voice, I am not too crazy about the presentation in the movie, but I guess the movie is for storytelling. To me personally, this is a very happy song, vibrant, apart from the fact that I worry ki zameen kitni baar rukegi yaar, aur kis kis ke liye rukegi, aur baaz ek logon ke liye to baar baar rukti hogi na ;) some people just have all the luck in life.Don't you hate those people. :D
Here are both the videos, you decide for yourself which one you like better.
Movie: Teesri Manzil (1966)
Singer: Mohd. Rafi
It's a beautiful song, I love his voice, I am not too crazy about the presentation in the movie, but I guess the movie is for storytelling. To me personally, this is a very happy song, vibrant, apart from the fact that I worry ki zameen kitni baar rukegi yaar, aur kis kis ke liye rukegi, aur baaz ek logon ke liye to baar baar rukti hogi na ;) some people just have all the luck in life.Don't you hate those people. :D
Here are both the videos, you decide for yourself which one you like better.
Movie: Teesri Manzil (1966)
Singer: Mohd. Rafi
Monday, April 6, 2009
jeet hi lenge baazi hum tum
On the whole I think this is a very hopeful song. These are my most favourite lines
१) प्यार का बंधन जनम का बंधन, जनम का बंधन टूटे न
२) मिलने कि खुशी न मिलने का गम ,ख़त्म ये झगडे हो जाये
एंड
३) मैं भी न छोडूँ पलभर दामन, तू भी पलभर रूठे न....
okay wait, I think I like all of it :)
Movie: Shola aur Shabnam (1961)
Singers: Mohd. Rafi and Lata Mangeshkar
Music Director : Khaiyyaam
१) प्यार का बंधन जनम का बंधन, जनम का बंधन टूटे न
२) मिलने कि खुशी न मिलने का गम ,ख़त्म ये झगडे हो जाये
एंड
३) मैं भी न छोडूँ पलभर दामन, तू भी पलभर रूठे न....
okay wait, I think I like all of it :)
Movie: Shola aur Shabnam (1961)
Singers: Mohd. Rafi and Lata Mangeshkar
Music Director : Khaiyyaam
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I made a choice
Today was the first day in my life that I had coffee without sugar.
Generally, I would rather not drink coffee, and I drink a lot of coffee so...
I guess at some point you have to choose between health and taste, and I for one always make the wrong choice, only today I said, wait let me try this, and you know what, it was not that bad.
Okay I must be honest I ate some amazing kesari bhat along with it to compensate but really, it was a big step for me.
As my mother loves saying, jo apni zuban ke dono functions control kar le vahi sant hai. Swad aur shabd. Soch ke bolo, soch ke khao.
Right!
To us definition se ji main to bilkul sant nahi, na soch ke bola na soch ke khaya. par vo kya kehten hain bachchanji... koshish karne valon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti. to koshish kar leten hain - kadvi coffee peene ki.
Generally, I would rather not drink coffee, and I drink a lot of coffee so...
I guess at some point you have to choose between health and taste, and I for one always make the wrong choice, only today I said, wait let me try this, and you know what, it was not that bad.
Okay I must be honest I ate some amazing kesari bhat along with it to compensate but really, it was a big step for me.
As my mother loves saying, jo apni zuban ke dono functions control kar le vahi sant hai. Swad aur shabd. Soch ke bolo, soch ke khao.
Right!
To us definition se ji main to bilkul sant nahi, na soch ke bola na soch ke khaya. par vo kya kehten hain bachchanji... koshish karne valon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti. to koshish kar leten hain - kadvi coffee peene ki.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Need ka nirman phir phir - Bachchan ji
I like this poem because it is full of hope, it talks about one of the hardest things to do in life, picking up the pieces and starting all over again. When I was younger it was an idealistic poem, beautiful and yet doable. Then it happened to me, to my friends, to people I know and love and I began to realize how hard it was to decide if I wanted to build again or just let it go... In theory it should have been easy, what is the problem? But, it was a terrible choice to make. I look back and I know how tempting it was to just let it go, there is a grandeur in playing the martyr.
In a lot of ways some of us did, let go. There are dreams that we do not dream anymore because we see no way of their coming true now. It takes a lot to keep them alive inside us, to hope, to believe in the possibility of some day... in the distant future....
That is why I especially appreciate this poem now, because now I see both sides of the picture, I see why someone would give up and I see the courage it takes to build again, to love again, to give again. To put yourself out there, in the thick of things, at the mercy of the winds, only this time I know that it is transient, that it can all be taken away from me, but I appreciate it all the more for its transience. I now know on a whole new level that it is far better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. neh ka aahvaan phir phir phir.
नीड़ का निर्माण फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर!
वह उठी आँधी कि नभ में, छा गया सहसा अँधेरा,
धूलि धूसर बादलों नें भूमि को भाँति घेरा,
रात-सा दिन हो गया, फिर रात आई और काली,
लग रहा था अब न होगा इस निशा का फिर सवेरा,
रात के उत्पात-भय से भीत जन-जन, भीत कण-कण
किंतु प्राची से उषा की मोहनी मुसकान फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर,
वह चले झोंके कि काँपे भीम कायावान भूधर,
जड़ समेत उखड़-पुखड़कर गिर पड़े, टूटे विटप वर,
हाय, तिनकों से विनिर्मित घोंसलों पर क्या न बीती,
डगमगाए जबकि कंकड़, ईंट, पत्थर के महल-घर;
बोल आशा के विहंगम, किस जगह पर तू छिपा था,
जो गगन चढ़ उठाता गर्व से निज तान फिर-फिर!
नीड़ का निर्माण फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर!
क्रुद्ध नभ के वज्र दंतों में उषा है मुसकराती,
घोर गर्जनमय गगन के कंठ में खग पंक्ति गाती;
एक चिड़िया चोंच में तिनका लिए जो गा रही है,
वह सहज में ही पवन उंचास को नीचा दिखाती!
नाश के दुख से कभी दबता नहीं निर्माण का सुख
प्रलय की निस्तब्धता से सृष्टि का नव गान फिर-फिर!
नीड़ का निर्माण फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर!
In a lot of ways some of us did, let go. There are dreams that we do not dream anymore because we see no way of their coming true now. It takes a lot to keep them alive inside us, to hope, to believe in the possibility of some day... in the distant future....
That is why I especially appreciate this poem now, because now I see both sides of the picture, I see why someone would give up and I see the courage it takes to build again, to love again, to give again. To put yourself out there, in the thick of things, at the mercy of the winds, only this time I know that it is transient, that it can all be taken away from me, but I appreciate it all the more for its transience. I now know on a whole new level that it is far better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. neh ka aahvaan phir phir phir.
नीड़ का निर्माण फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर!
वह उठी आँधी कि नभ में, छा गया सहसा अँधेरा,
धूलि धूसर बादलों नें भूमि को भाँति घेरा,
रात-सा दिन हो गया, फिर रात आई और काली,
लग रहा था अब न होगा इस निशा का फिर सवेरा,
रात के उत्पात-भय से भीत जन-जन, भीत कण-कण
किंतु प्राची से उषा की मोहनी मुसकान फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर,
वह चले झोंके कि काँपे भीम कायावान भूधर,
जड़ समेत उखड़-पुखड़कर गिर पड़े, टूटे विटप वर,
हाय, तिनकों से विनिर्मित घोंसलों पर क्या न बीती,
डगमगाए जबकि कंकड़, ईंट, पत्थर के महल-घर;
बोल आशा के विहंगम, किस जगह पर तू छिपा था,
जो गगन चढ़ उठाता गर्व से निज तान फिर-फिर!
नीड़ का निर्माण फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर!
क्रुद्ध नभ के वज्र दंतों में उषा है मुसकराती,
घोर गर्जनमय गगन के कंठ में खग पंक्ति गाती;
एक चिड़िया चोंच में तिनका लिए जो गा रही है,
वह सहज में ही पवन उंचास को नीचा दिखाती!
नाश के दुख से कभी दबता नहीं निर्माण का सुख
प्रलय की निस्तब्धता से सृष्टि का नव गान फिर-फिर!
नीड़ का निर्माण फिर-फिर,
नेह का आह्वान फिर-फिर!
Friday, April 3, 2009
ek tera saath humko do jahan se pyara hai
I love this song, its just... beautiful, a bit too idealistic, but, yeah, that is not a flaw in my book so...
I love that part
हम अकेले हैं, शहनाईयां चुप हैं, तो कंगना बोलता है
तू जो चलती है, छोटे से आँगन में, चमन सा डोलता हैं
आज घर हम ने, मिलन के रंग से संवारा है
here a you tube link, I could not find the video if you have one send me the link.
I love that part
हम अकेले हैं, शहनाईयां चुप हैं, तो कंगना बोलता है
तू जो चलती है, छोटे से आँगन में, चमन सा डोलता हैं
आज घर हम ने, मिलन के रंग से संवारा है
here a you tube link, I could not find the video if you have one send me the link.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Chitralekha
This just has to be one of my most favourite books ever. Chitralekha by Bhagvatisharan Verma. It has been a while since I read it, and I am horrible with names, so I do not remember any, but the premise and the treatment of the subject matter was so beautiful, it has stayed with me forever. in my own words this is what the story is, and even at the risk of repeating myself, because I say this all the time, its not the story, it the telling that makes a great book. Still...
Two students of a sage ask him which is the more noble path - that of a householder or that of an ascetic? The sage takes them and leaves one in the home of a merchant and another with an ascetic, asking them to observe the life and motivations of both and come to their own conclusions. I don't remember the details much, but the merchant who spends a lot of time with the courtesan 'Chitralekha' comes across as a worldly man with worldly vices, whereas the ascetic spends most of his time in prayers.
Their lives intersect over the courtesan who is looked down upon by the asectic, she challenges his understanding of God, that if he shuns the world is he not rejecting the lord's creation, and is that not an insult to the maker himself? The merchant does not interfere in the continuing battle of wits between the two. Again I am dicey on the details but over the course of the next year, Chitralekha begins to be ashamed of her life lived in the pursuit of sensual pleasures, and goes to the ascetic to take her in and help her get out of this life of sin. The ascetic does, but later falls for her and then blames her for his own degradation. I don't remember what the two do after, I think the ascetic runs away, or does he kill himself? or does she? i can't remember, essentially it is the mutual downfall of the two of them, each dragging the other.
Chitalekha who was never ashamed of her own choices in life begins to doubt herself because of some clever arguments by a man of God, and is then crest fallen to find him as frail, weak, and human as any other man she has ever known. And the ascetic on the other hand realizing that it was one thing to be give lectures on celebacy when he had never been near a woman and quite another to look temptation in the eye and say thanks, but no thanks. The irony of it, that they both fall for actions they always knew were wrong. To me the story is a testament to the fact that arguments do not always come from a place of understanding. We can yell and shout and defend our own point of view to death, without ever internalizing the concepts, or being on a solid footing ourselves. That it is very easy to be duped by glibness of word, but it is not always supported by action. The whole idea of not calling any man great till he is dead, because you don't know what turn he is going to slip at.
And in the midst of all these righteous, loud mouthed defenders of their own beliefs, is the merchant. He lives a life of comfort, he does what he wants and he does not defend himself. People criticize him for drinking, for spending nights at Chitralekha's home, for not being a pious religious man and he does not seem to care. He loves her. He continues to love her through everything that happens to her. He loves her when people call her names, he loves her when she mocks the ascetic, he loves her when she loathes herself, he loves her when she leaves him and her riches to be with the ascetic and he loves her when the ascetic casts her away. He loves her in spite of what anyone else thinks, including herself.
In the end, it is his understanding of life and love,duty and passion, and right and wrong that comes across as the sanest and the most natural one. It is the slow and gradual growth of his character that is the most stunning part of the book.
Two students of a sage ask him which is the more noble path - that of a householder or that of an ascetic? The sage takes them and leaves one in the home of a merchant and another with an ascetic, asking them to observe the life and motivations of both and come to their own conclusions. I don't remember the details much, but the merchant who spends a lot of time with the courtesan 'Chitralekha' comes across as a worldly man with worldly vices, whereas the ascetic spends most of his time in prayers.
Their lives intersect over the courtesan who is looked down upon by the asectic, she challenges his understanding of God, that if he shuns the world is he not rejecting the lord's creation, and is that not an insult to the maker himself? The merchant does not interfere in the continuing battle of wits between the two. Again I am dicey on the details but over the course of the next year, Chitralekha begins to be ashamed of her life lived in the pursuit of sensual pleasures, and goes to the ascetic to take her in and help her get out of this life of sin. The ascetic does, but later falls for her and then blames her for his own degradation. I don't remember what the two do after, I think the ascetic runs away, or does he kill himself? or does she? i can't remember, essentially it is the mutual downfall of the two of them, each dragging the other.
Chitalekha who was never ashamed of her own choices in life begins to doubt herself because of some clever arguments by a man of God, and is then crest fallen to find him as frail, weak, and human as any other man she has ever known. And the ascetic on the other hand realizing that it was one thing to be give lectures on celebacy when he had never been near a woman and quite another to look temptation in the eye and say thanks, but no thanks. The irony of it, that they both fall for actions they always knew were wrong. To me the story is a testament to the fact that arguments do not always come from a place of understanding. We can yell and shout and defend our own point of view to death, without ever internalizing the concepts, or being on a solid footing ourselves. That it is very easy to be duped by glibness of word, but it is not always supported by action. The whole idea of not calling any man great till he is dead, because you don't know what turn he is going to slip at.
And in the midst of all these righteous, loud mouthed defenders of their own beliefs, is the merchant. He lives a life of comfort, he does what he wants and he does not defend himself. People criticize him for drinking, for spending nights at Chitralekha's home, for not being a pious religious man and he does not seem to care. He loves her. He continues to love her through everything that happens to her. He loves her when people call her names, he loves her when she mocks the ascetic, he loves her when she loathes herself, he loves her when she leaves him and her riches to be with the ascetic and he loves her when the ascetic casts her away. He loves her in spite of what anyone else thinks, including herself.
In the end, it is his understanding of life and love,duty and passion, and right and wrong that comes across as the sanest and the most natural one. It is the slow and gradual growth of his character that is the most stunning part of the book.
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