Having kids has taught me that... that, you cannot wait for it to be just perfect, you have got to take what you have right now.
Like this morning... it was a beautiful morning, everyone else was in bed, I came down, walked around while my tea got ready, a bit chilly in the house so got me a little throw from behind the couch and i felt good, good about my home - no it is not as done up as I would like it to be, I have just never taken the time or effort to decorate it really, but it is nice; comfortable, livable, and i felt good - about this life that i have created for myself. I was about to sit down on the couch to have my tea in peace - every one else in bed remember -a rare rare rare occurrence in our home these days.
And i wanted more... I thought maybe I could carry the teacup and the little box of laddus (yumm) up to the guest bedroom and enjoy the tea and laddus with some warm sunlight coming through that nice window with the great view of the parks. It is the best view in the house and my husband and I lament often that that should have been the master bedroom view :(( but....
Well, that would have been perfect and I was about to do it, but then i stopped short.
As I said above having kids has taught me to not push things trying to make them too perfect.
I know from experience that it is highly likely that just as i finally settle down in a cozy corner of the rajai someone will call me asking for chai, dudu, or change a diaper, and what is worse I will find out that I have only myself to blame, beacuse i woke up the said someone in my attempt to procure a book/ laptop/ headphones hopelessly trying to 'perfect'ify my solitude and thus having ruined it.
So I have now come to the conclusion to not try to do that. To take what i get and ... yes... shut up really and not ask for more. Just enjoy your chai while it is still hot and not let it go cold trying to find the right 'बिस्कुट'. There, my brand of zen wisdom.
4 comments:
I was smiling after reading this post of yours. This is not the first time that you have given words to my thoughts. So very true...
U always give words to my thoughts. I have experienced the same thing too. I am just waiting for my kids to grow up a little more so that I can have some time to myself. But, Do I actually want that?
Found your writings very fresh and believable. No pretences. Many places u've revealed what it is to be you!
Next is What??
@bloggerinmaking: Thanks
@Tqi: a new blog follower yay!! i guess that is the whole idea of writing blogs, to reveal and hide parts of yourself at whim, to put your inner most thoughts out into the universe with no control over who is reading them, when you would not share those very same thoughts with the person sitting right beside you. kinda crazy actually :) as to next... hmmm... i have no idea sorry if that is disappointing :)
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