A horrendous undertaking

I have a new found respect for all those prolific writers. I have no god damned idea how they do it. I had this short story in my head, and i had it all done quite a while back, in my head that is. i knew exactly how it starts and exactly where it ends and all the high points that happen along the road, yes the low ones too. I had thought it out really. I kept telling myself I could write it anytime, it was done, already. But, boy, was I wrong. You see it is a horrendous undertaking, eventhough I know what I want them to do, it takes so much to get them to do it. I take forever to write a paragraph, i keep living it in my head, i can see these people, hell I think I am becoming these people, but, lord, I am sorry, I am really at a loss of words - it is still not happening. Well, I guess that says it, how the heck are you supposed to write a story if you have gone done and lost all your words now. oh gosh. and i am not even thinking about the loooong story, the one i have NOT thought out in my head yet, the one that still has kinks in it, the one that is not adding up, even though T, god bless her heart, was nice enough to tell me that it does make sense. i thought that was the one that was gonna be the death of me, but here this little teeny tiny one isn't getting finished, And to top it off, I don't even have the time to write my blog everyday now, I feel bad for not writing the stutpid story and then I feel bad for not writing my blog. What is a girl gotta do?

3 july 09

Yaar! Ek to na main bhi bas. Melodramatic hi hoon. That story is done and now nothing else is being done. Why? coz now I think that was a beautiful story, how will i write something to match up to that? like I said, melodramatic ! to the core, i tell you. I cannot believe i was freaking out that much, so it is nice to read my own posts. right now I am freaking out about 'The rouge data point' I think I should abandon it, or forget everythign and write it with abandon. one of the two. Like I said somewhere else what's the point of writing if I am going to be so scared to do it?